Home NZ Politics “a bit of a weird strategy”

“a bit of a weird strategy”

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Bryan Firebrand, The Waterton Chronicle:

In a sure sign that the people are about to get what they deserve, Prime Minister of New Zealand, global sweetheart, and recently single mum Jacinda Ardern has adopted what absolutely anyone with half a brain is calling “a bit of a weird strategy”.

Six weeks out from an election, the standard strategy of even the most questionable so-called “politician” would usually involve releasing something resembling what their particular party intends to do should they be democratically elected to rule over us.

Apparently, El Presidente Jacinda has ascended beyond the inconsequential squeaks of the people she rules over, into what looks a bit like a cult leader, and sounds a bit like a cult leader, and quacks a bit like a cult leader. Quack.

The Waterton Chronicle sent a reporter to the palace gates in the hope that our glorious leader would maybe answer a question or two.

“No. She is not taking questions until after the election.” A Palace Guard informed this reporter.

“But she’s the Prime Minister?” this reporter asked.

“Yes. But she’s also Jacinda. She’s single-handedly stopped COVID, a volcano and a murderous lunatic bro. Isn’t that enough?” the agitated guard asked.

“Single-handedly? I thought we were ‘a team of five million’?” this reporter asked.

“Well, umm, fxxk you bro!” the palace guard explained before this reporter was escorted off the palace grounds.

Safely back in front of his computer, this reporter discovered that Jacinda’s strategy has been utilised only a couple of times before.

“Basically, I discovered that very few politicians and even fewer leaders of western democracies refuse to announce any policies six weeks out from an election. I also learned that it’s a bit weird that a leader in what is apparently a democratic nation refuses to participate in a leaders debate six weeks out from an election.” Bryan explained.

“The only examples I could find that were even close were a bit communist to be honest.” Bryan added.

“Mao, Lenin, Stalin.. More recently, Putin, Xi, Kim.”.

16 COMMENTS

  1. If liarbour were to campaign on policy, they would lose. The opposition would simply point out they have failed to implement any from the last election.
    Kiwibuild, housing the poor, light rail to the airport………..

    14

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  2. The pure arrogance of Ardern.
    Not bothering to attend leader’s debates. Refusing to release any Policy.
    Have we seen a more arrogant Government in NZ History? They should be getting fucking torn apart by the Media!
    Oh wait- $50 million has bought their complicity…

    11

    1

  3. I had an interesting post appear in my Facebook feed this morning. It has quickly disappeared – FB “had trouble getting my feed” error message shortly thereafter.

    I was trying to verify the contents before posting, so take the following with a grain of salt. Someone had posted that Ardern ignored all the press and went out to go pat a dog. If true, it appears there’s only so much sycophancy she can handle.

    Sadly, I cannot find it under DuckDuckGo.

    5

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  4. Bob Harvey –former ad man and Labour Party president says Ardern doesn’t have to do anything to get a second term !!!

    She has scared the living daylights out of 60% of the population and they will keep that up by saying “Melbourne” multiple times a day –that is the election campaign strategy.

    7

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    • Harvey was behind the Ad team that got Norm Kirk elected in 1972.
      He has been catching passes on the left wing for far too long.

      He got 2 million bucks in the 1990s for the sale of his ad agency so he is hardly a traditional Liebour voter.
      He is also a former Liebour Party President so hardly unbiased.
      Does the media filth mention this when they quote him?

      Harvey: The man who wanted trams throughout the CBD
      http://www.stuff.co.nz/auckland/5243610/City-tram-loop-proposal-in-doubt
      2011. Also Dear Nikki K :
      “On Monday, Auckland central MP Nikki Kaye asked mayor Len Brown, his council and Auckland Transport to investigate the merits of a tram link which will loop through Grey Lynn, Ponsonby, Karangahape Road, Queen Street and downtown Auckland.”
      >What a stupid idea.

      and, 2002 when Harvey was in his nearly 20 year stint as Mayor of Waitakere ‘eco’ city:-
      “Waitakere Mayor Bob Harvey wants to buy a $110 million train-tram combo, call it the West Coast Express and start it rolling with a three-month free trial, and coffee and hamburger vouchers.”

      The former mayor of the West Tim Shadbolt published a book – ‘Bullshit and Jellybeans’. This applies equally to Harvey.

      6

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