Home NZ Politics A Good Idea?

A Good Idea?

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Bryan Firebrand Waterton Chronicle;

Following the news that anyone entering New Zealand will now be required to self-isolate for two weeks, Supreme Leader Jacinda Ardern has had a bit of a think about how she’s going to enforce the rule, and she’s come up with the perfect solution.

Our glorious leader initially thought the policy wouldn’t need enforcing, because “people do what I tell them to do.”.

After holding an emergency cabinet meeting this morning to discuss the policy, which began with the traditional circle-jerk where every member is required to tell Jacinda three things they like about her as a person, it was decided that friends of the Government the Mongrel Mob will assist Police with their dawn raids on people’s homes to ensure everyone is complying.

“Jacinda came up with the idea, which just shows once again what a glorious and magical leader she is.” explained Police Minister Stuart Nash.

“It’s perfect really. I mean the Mongrel Mob have a wealth of experience in standover tactics, armed raids, and enforcement of rules, and of course we didn’t confiscate their guns so they’re much more capable of responding with force should anyone not comply with the self-isolation rule.” Nash continued.

The Waterton Daily Chronicle understands the enforcement measure was eventually agreed to unanimously after Jacinda started crying when WInston Peters pointed out that maybe it was a bad idea for the government to be working with a criminal gang.

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11 COMMENTS

  1. ED, please ,its way to early to be confronted by that infamous pic of the veiled hang dog Arden ,couldn’t you get a cartoon version of it and spare all the Y S B commenters such an assault on their senses so early?
    10% drop on Wall street is not what we needed ,lets hope it recovers in the next couple of hours, confidence is taking a devastating hit that may not recover quickly.

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  2. Surely the “mob” and “powers” did earn the “right” to keep their guns, despite being illegally altered, etc.. and why have a gun licence with all those approvals etc.. as they are so helpful. 🙂
    https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/385325/black-power-and-mongrel-mob-hui-to-look-at-how-to-help-muslim-community

    Who would ask if they have a car licence? and obviously also do not need a “hemp growers licence”
    Being the earthy people, on the ground, they will know how to devise the rules with just a hui, and then actually do the “doey”
    So much more action on the ground to be done.
    So long as the government keeps funding going, and the gangs know how to “top up”.

    Besides, who decides the criminality, particularly in these changing times?
    Communities are expected to “step up”, as we read between the lines of government directives, and everything will be trim & tidy as lawn mowers do their job.

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  3. ……”which began with the traditional circle-jerk where every member is required to tell Jacinda three things they like about her as a person”…….

    Looks like the fairy dust & unicorn piss didn’t reach this writer’s laptop. 🙂

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  4. The “Waterton Daily Chronicle” post is not a joke, after you listen to this.

    The application says the Crown has breached Te Tiriti o Waitangi by failing to work in partnership with, consult, or even inform Maori about the trial.
    Julia Whaipooti is one of the claimants.
    She speaks to Philippa Tolley. …..
    “….. as the police reponse squad only patrol maori and pacific island communities. …..
    ….. police note “unconcious bias….
    ….. putting lethal weapons in the hands of the police….
    ….. putting racist policies into systemic practice of police ……
    …. so maori lives do not matter ……

    ….because of that white supremacist terror attack …..”
    Just some snippets.
    https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/morningreport/audio/2018738779/maori-justice-advocates-seek-tribunal-hearing-over-arts

    Just listen to the flow of words that rattle of the tongue, all in English, but one could swear it is another language of verbiage. 🙁

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  5. Hmm, who would I run screaming from if they knocked on my door, the mongrel mob or socialist Cindy wearing her tea towel and her knitted brows of concern. 😳 😳

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    • As Ronald Regan once quipped “The most feared words in the English language are ‘I am from the government and I am here to help you.’ “

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