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Cindy & Co knocked up?




Bryan Firebrand:

As questions over what the fxxk is going on with the quarantine situation continue to be given the classic Jacinda “we can just dismiss” treatment, our glorious leader has today come up with what she thinks will be an election-winning strategy.

Following last night’s latest ‘Colmar Brunton We Definitely Asked 7 People And At Least 3 Were Not Jacinda Cultists’ poll results, and with former golden boy Ashley Bloomfield discovering first hand how quickly shxt goes south when you get too close to communists, El Presidente is in a bit of a panic, apparently.

The poll showed, in what looks suspiciously like ‘foreign entities’, but definitely not China because that’s racist, had something to do with the last one, that El Presidente Jacinda is suddenly not looking as popular as she thinks she is.

The Waterton Chronicle spoke to El Presidente Cindy to ask her how it felt to drop 50 percentage points (to 54%) between polls.

“What do you mean 50 points? Like, that’s more than 100%? Oh yeah, hehe. Meh. I’ve already instructed my government to immediately get knocked up. Studies show that’s worth at least ten percentage points each.” our glorious and definitely completely honest and not at all lying leader explained.

“Basically, if my entire caucus gets knocked up between now and election day, I’ll be fxxking unstoppable.” our glorious leader explained.

“Imagine if I put on a headscarf whilst also pregnant! Fxxk man, the polls would go full spaceman!” the raging agnostic explained.

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  1. Who’s volunteering to impregnate TamitI and Kiritapu,Whitey need not apply ,Willie jackson could do the job if he can remove his foot from his mouth for long enough.
    Do Robinson and Alfie have any children yet ?if not there’s a lot of work to be done there as well,oh well as the caucus get busy with this task they wont be able to F–K anything else up so there is a silver lining .
    There’s a simple thing that National can do to counter this manoeuvre ,they can get at it to and we can get the unbiased quack quack Mallard to be the judge on which side does the best job of it.
    What about the maggot Peters can he help out with this quest ? lets see now ,,he could get together with Nanaia Mahuta after all they appear to be about the same age.
    And then there’s the dear leader herself ,you see people she’s way out front here because the fisherman has apparently taken away the need for a PM pregnancy by banging up the babysitter months ago ,god these COL members are smarter than we’ve been giving them credit for.
    PS ,who’s gonna supply jones with the porn we all know he’ll need to perform his share of the task,his partner or the taxpayer?



  2. Act party leader David Seymour has shared a bizarre criticism over Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s handling of the Covid-19 pandemic, comparing her to a German guard from a WWII based television series.

    In a statement and on social media, Seymour began by writing that the “the Dad’s Army routine” we have seen at New Zealand borders show that our country got lucky all along with Covid-19.

    Dad’s Army is a BBC television series sitcom about the British militia called the Home Guard during the World War II.

    The Home Guard consisted of local volunteers otherwise ineligible for military service, either because of age (hence the title Dad’s Army) or by being in professions exempt from conscription.


    Apart from the stupid writer not even understanding the comparision David very much sums up the Govt.’s efforts and behavoirs.



    • No but the fisherman seems to have vanished lately.
      On some Fb page today there was a lot of comment about the babaes birthday. I asked where was the fisherman these days. Was he looking after his second family.
      Met so far with a stony silence.



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