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Joe Biden Wins Nobel Prize For His Incredible First Day As President

From babylonbee.com

Joe Biden Wins Nobel Prize For His Incredible First Day As President

SWEDEN—According to sources in the media, President Biden had an incredible first day in office. After signing executive orders to end racism, global warming, and Republican domestic terrorism, the Norwegian Nobel Committee agreed that this was possibly the best first day in office of any president in history. To recognize this groundbreaking achievement, Biden will be awarded the Nobel Prize in all 6 categories:

  • Physics – For miraculously causing the sea levels to lower by signing the Paris Climate Accord
  • Chemistry – For his incredible chemistry with the American people
  • Medicine – For administering life-saving vaccines to millions of people after Trump selfishly hoarded them in his basement
  • Literature – For writing some of the most compelling speeches and most beautiful tweets ever written
  • Peace – For ensuring a peaceful transfer of power with 30,000 National Guard troops
  • Economic Sciences – For raising the minimum wage– something no one has ever tried before

“This is astounding. It feels so good to finally have a competent president again,” said White House Correspondent Jim Acosta with a tear in his eye.

Biden was scheduled to give an acceptance speech but was rushed to the hospital after swallowing one of the Nobel Prize medals.

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12 COMMENTS

  1. An American Sign Language interpreter will now appear at all White House press briefings

    The Biden administration has taken a huge step toward increased inclusivity by announcing that an American Sign Language interpreter will now appear at all White House press briefings.

    The announcement was made on Monday (January 25) by Jen Psaki, CNN reports.
    Listen to the announcement below:

    “As a part of this administration’s accessibility and inclusion efforts, starting today we will have an ASL, an American Sign Language interpreter for our daily press briefings,” Psaki said at Monday’s briefing.

    “The President is committed to building an America that is more inclusive, more just and more accessible for every American, including Americans with disabilities and their families.”

    The first interpreter went on to appear at the event; identified only as Heather, she signed at the bottom of the screen as Psaki spoke.

    This is a step away from the previous administration, which was sued in August by the National Association of the Deaf and five deaf Americans for failing to provide ASL interpreters at Covid-19 briefings.
    Joe Biden.
    Credit: PA Images

    It is not the only step that the Biden administration has immediately taken toward increased representation, either, and it has also reversed the Trump administration’s transgender military ban.

    The White House said Biden’s order “sets the policy that all Americans who are qualified to serve in the Armed Forces of the United States should be able to serve.”

    “President Biden believes that gender identity should not be a bar to military service and that America’s strength is found in its diversity,” the White House said.

    Biden’s order “immediately prohibits involuntary separations, discharges, and denials of reenlistment or continuation of service on the basis of gender identity or under circumstances relating to gender identity,” the White House said.

    Under the order, military records affected by Trump’s ban will be immediately corrected.

    Biden’s decision to reverse the ban has already been praised by human rights groups, NBC News reports.

    “Today, those who believe in fact-based public policy and a strong, smart national defense have reason to be proud. The Biden administration has made good on its pledge to put military readiness above political expediency by restoring inclusive policy for transgender troops,” said Aaron Belkin, director of the Palm Center, a nonpartisan organization that studies LGBTQ military issues. “The ban will now be replaced with a single standard for everyone that, as in the successful previous policy, will apply equally to all service members.”

    “President Biden’s reversal of the Transgender Military Ban is a huge step towards full equality for the LGBTQ community and serves to make us stronger as a nation,” Erin Uritus, the CEO of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, an LGBTQ+ workplace equality advocacy organization, said.

    https://vt.co/news/us/an-american-sign-language-interpreter-will-now-appear-at-all-white-house-press-briefings?utm_source=vt&utm_medium=junglecreations&utm_campaign=post&fbclid=IwAR1GmeeAdm-BUME_7vzrzbB9PaqJsWmfismh8FFL2JJqb2r1G2v-HwvX_Z4

    Of course this comes via cnn. Perhaps they will be able to figure out what he is saying. Maybe trumpy should have spoon fed them all along.

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    • Re the transgenders into the armed forces – the best comment I saw on Breitbart – “Think there’s a pretty good consensus out there that “crazy people shouldn’t have guns” yet apparently a man who puts on a dress, makeup and calls himself Sally… should be issued an actual weapon of war… 🤷🏻‍♂️”

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      • So now navy ships, airforce bases and army field latrines will need to provide Third way/tranny/confused dunnies.

        I guess it will add another dimension of ‘I have to hit the head’

        Will they have MPs guarding the tranny dunny so that able bodied do not jump the queue for shorter lines in the ‘confused’ W.C.

        I certainly agree with H. Phil above.
        Giving armaments to these, at best, confused people is not a good look.
        But then nothing this Pelosi/ Harris/Biden/Pocahontas Warren/Schumer instruments of evil do in 2021 will be ‘for the good of the people’.

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    • That’s great, the person doing the signing will be reading from the teleprompter so deaf people will actually know what joe is meant to be saying while the rest of the word can’t understand a damn thing.

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  2. Have you seen the video of the silly old C- -T Joey about to sign a law and he’s heard saying on an open mic “I don’t know what I’m signing” and then signs it anyway, FFS poor America have a lunatic in charge which is arguably worse than the fast food worker we have running NZ.

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