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Cindy will not front on this new test




COVID Anal Swabs for Beijing Residents More Accurate, Says Chinese Expert

More than a million Beijing residents undergoing coronavirus testing amid a fresh outbreak have been administered anal swabs, which are considered more accurate and raise the chances of detecting COVID-19, said a Chinese disease specialist.

The key districts of Daxing and Dongcheng began a mass testing drive on Friday after a nine-year-old boy tested positive for the more virulent strain of the virus, first discovered in London and the southeast of England last month.

Health authorities in the Chinese capital said they were aiming to screen more than two million people in 48 hours. Among them, around 1.6 million inhabitants in Daxing were to be given antibody tests, as well as throat, nasal and rectal nucleic acid swabs.

Anal swabs have been in use since last year, including in the major port city of Shanghai, but the method is so far reserved for individuals in potential COVID-19 hotspots, according to an infectious disease expert quoted by China’s state broadcaster CCTV on Saturday.

They’ll need a heck of a marketing campaign if they want that to catch on here. Yaaah, drive thru rectal swabbing, ummmm, no. Crappy job to boot.

Can you imagine how many of those tested this week up north would have been so keen to get tested?

Now consider this: In many US States (Pennsylvania and Ohio for sure) the mask mandates are explicit that those in restaurants MUST wear a mask INTO THE RESTROOM where of course that cloth will absorb all toilet odors and other zhit.

Let that sink in.

Then the patron MUST wear the zhit laden mask back into the restaurant so that with every exhale the patrons innocently eating pancakes can get a dose of the restroom zhit.

Robbo raises his hand “I want to be tested, there’s nothing to it”
Its bad enough the nose swab up to the freakin brain, but now an anal probe basically.

HELL NO! I’ll take my chances with the damn virus.


  1. What….. Is that a dreaded evil plastic bag in the opening photo???? Good God I did not know any existed anymore. It does look to me like it had more than a one time use too? Must be my eyes deceiving me.



  2. ……”Insert swab at least 2.5cm beyond the anal sphincter so than it enters the rectum”……

    The next page is devoted to recovering the swab after it falls into the well worn arses of Labour politicians.



  3. Anal swabs might be popular with the Gay Lynn/Ponsonby crowds where inserting foreign bodies up the date is the norm (just have to be careful not to poke the gerbil in the eye). Not so sure about the rest of us Kiwis though.



  4. There are a lot of arseholes in labour, plenty to step forward for the test, pity the poor nurse that has to do it. Maybe this will be the new theme at the next labour youth camp, bend over and over be tested for, ummm, what is it we are testing for again



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