Home NZ Politics Comrade Cindy Decrees More Shit

Comrade Cindy Decrees More Shit

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Bryan Firebrand:

Dictator of New Zealand Comrade Cindy has today announced via decree that from now on anyone that dies on her watch will automatically be classified as a victim of COVID-19, The Waterton Chronicle has learned.

The news comes as Cindy struggles to find legitimate reasons to control the population, following five days without a single new case of COVID in Tropico, sorry, “New Zealand”.

El Presidente was understandably disappointed with the lack of actual COVID-related deaths today, so did what any self-serving authoritarian propagandist does in the lead up to an election, and just “broadened” the definition of COVID-related death.

“What we’ve discovered is that it’s really not that difficult to stop an entire country in it’s tracks for the sake of my own idiotic ideological beliefs.” Jacinda explained.

“The whole lack of COVID-related things was starting to draw the peasants’ attention back to the fact I’ve done basically nothing other than smile and hug people for the last three years.” she added.

“Do these people even know who I am?!”.

“Like, I’m a pretty big deal.” she continued, for some reason.

El Presidente went on to explain that from now on, in order to boost the numbers of people dying from COVID, and to somewhat justify her own existence, anyone that decides to die in Tropico, sorry, “New Zealand”, will be classified as having died from COVID, even if they didn’t.

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10 COMMENTS

  1. Like the last victim of Wuhu-flu who at 96 years old had suffered from Covid but she had recovered and then later died of old age. She was afterall 96 so her time left on earth was limited. Her death was noted as due to Covid.

    One more for the power struggle eh Cindy 😈

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  2. Have you seen the pic that is going up for auction in Seymour’s electorate.
    Kirton’s Mrs (nee Belich) is following Nash and David Park, who are current ministers. ( Who is David Park?? Never heard of him) and is standing for election against David and Goldsmith.

    Of course its a patsy way into a list seat. Not enough gumption nor guts to stand and fight in an electorate seat, just must be on the list.

    Anyway, the picture is here.
    Its a rendition of Cindy and Clark. Certainly more like Clark than Cindy. ( Clark had something to do with the painting so I suppose she possed for it.
    Tell us what you all think of the con.
    Which of the two is the better looking one?

    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=12335874

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    • To “reiderade” recently we’ve handed Maori $900m just because, then another $50m for ummmm, oh and we’ve put you at the top of the list because most of you fellas don’t look after yourselves and eat, smoke and drink too much. // 🤨

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  3. Commented on this before but it seems to have got lost.
    Putting Arderns photo alongside Muldoon is degrading
    Muldoon may have been a socialist but at least he built something, and usually kept his word .
    Yes Muldoon got a lot wrong but he did have integrity.
    Ask Robs Mob
    Ardern??

    5

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