📰 Council Replaces Zebra Crossing With “Species-Neutral Pedestrian Stripe System”
WELLINGTON — In a move officials say reflects a “more inclusive approach to public infrastructure,” Wellington City Council has announced plans to replace the term “zebra crossing” with what it is calling a Species-Neutral Pedestrian Stripe System.
Council spokesperson Lydia Binn said the traditional name had raised concerns among residents who felt the crossing unfairly stigmatizes zebras in road infrastructure.
“For decades we’ve been associating zebras with traffic hazards, braking suddenly, and near-miss incidents,” Binn explained.
“That’s a heavy burden to place on one animal species that, aside from a few brief zoo appearances, has had very little involvement with Wellington roads.”
According to the council, the change is intended to ensure no animal is singled out or negatively associated with road safety incidents.
“Zebras didn’t ask to be part of traffic management,” Binn said.
“It’s time we stopped projecting our road behaviour onto them.”
Under the new system, the familiar black-and-white stripes will remain largely unchanged, though all official signage, council documents, and road safety pamphlets will now refer to them as “species-neutral pedestrian stripes.”
Local resident Gabe Horn, who crosses the road outside his dairy most mornings, said the update came as a surprise.
“I always thought it was just paint,” Horn said.
“Didn’t realise zebras had been dragged into it.”
Neighbour Jenny Tills welcomed the change, saying it was only fair to consider the feelings of wildlife.
“If I were a zebra and found out my entire identity had been reduced to a bit of road paint, I’d probably be upset too,” she said.
“Best to sort it now before they find out.”
Council officials confirmed the rollout will begin later this year, with updated signage gradually appearing across the city. The project is expected to cost several Million dollars, most of which will go toward public education campaigns explaining that the crossings themselves remain exactly the same.
At time of publication, the council confirmed it was also reviewing the term “cat’s eyes” on roads, after concerns that the reflective studs may be misrepresenting feline involvement in nighttime traffic management.
Presume Wellington hairdressers are no longer doing birds nest hairstyles – certain birds have been feeling very challenged by the expectation of having to change to that style of nest.
But what about the multi coloured striped things that are painted on the road which are not legal pedestrian crossing!
When you have to say the names out loud to realise it’s satire, life becomes very confusing.
It would not surprise me at all to read this again in a couple of years as it becomes real.
The scary thing is this could be true , the big question is what came first the zebra stripes or the animal.
I know we are still in “Day Light Savings” so the early morning has become dismal; & this is “You Stupid Boy”, so I figure it has some licence of stretch on being the “early bird, gets it worm”, & early next month is the “Resurrection” after “April 1st”.
And we have lived & survived the “Only Source of Truth” to now be “zigged zagged” & “Zebra’ed”
The councils on the other side of the world have it all under control, particularly regarding the schooling of the school kids.
…… Children’s drawings could be considered blasphemous, while music and dance lessons could contravene the teachings of Islam, local councils have warned schools ……
…… to help schools ‘demonstrate a sensitive and positive approach to religious and cultural diversity to pupils, parents and carers’. …..
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15634147/amp/Pupils-drawings-blasphemous-Islamic-law-Labour-councils-tell-schools-music-dance-classes-against-teachings-Islam.html
No comment section has been put up on this.
Others may be opposed to parts of the education curriculum, but this allows, even if not quite legitimatizing threats, violence by other pupils.
Eventually the violence & threats are ratified in the Judiciary system.
Have to make sure that from Boy Scouts, School kids, that they are all captured & controllable for the future, & even better can become Police, Judiciary to enforce it all.
]
Eventually the echo lands of the virtuous signalling circle entraps & encloses every one.
In this comment one may see it as a Islamic control, but do see it for the battering ram, in “the march through the institutions” that Leftist use for their agenda, of word control & more.
Compliance creeps in, even in NZ as halal meals, for prisons, hospitals, and I guess not far off to be full pushed for the school lunches if not already in parts of NZ.
Easy fixed. Export all muzzies!
I thought it was bad luck to make April Fools jokes before the 1st of April?
And how much did the council spend on meetings, presentations etc to introduce this bullshit. Approved by council was it. Obversely need some redundancy, not much work.
Is this a piss take?
Actually with the morons running many places, it may not be a piss take…..
Unfortunately, you do need to ask. What an utter bunch of fuckwits we’ve become.
It’s partially true…
https://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/wellington/128741229/zebra-crossings-to-nowhere-painted-in-two-wellington-tunnels