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      • I just don’t think it is necessary, we have plenty of Maori language, for me it is like the Maori seats in Parliament, once it might have been necessary but noo longer, old argument but when is sign language week, do we remember? Where is the ongoing education? May apparently.

        http://deaf.org.nz/nzslw

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        • I have a special hand sign for Labour.
          Guess which one.
          Clue:
          Motorway gesture for , “Sir. You forgot to indicate”

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            • Some hand gestures can get you into some pretty tight spots in certain countries.
              In some countries, if you find it impossible to express something, with your hands, it probably means you’ve been caught stealing. Twice.
              For the life of me I can’t remember which ones though.

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  1. ha, well you couldn’t make this shit up. Note that apparently us white fella’s have been superseded by the digital fella’s.

    —————————————————

    The panel consists of Te Mātāwai Tumu Whakarae Te Atarangi Whiu, Te Rūnanga Tātari Tatauranga Professor Tahu Kukutai, The Centre for Health Director Dr Anna Rolleston and Te Wehi Managing Director Kirikowhai Mikaere. It will be facilitated by Arataua founder Kahurangi Milne.

    Under classic colonialism, oppressed people were disposed of their land, exploited their labour, exercised extraterritorial governance, and perpetuated dependency and plunder through strategic underdevelopment. Digital colonisation is considered the next stage and is the fight for control of people’s minds by large corporations.
    ==========================================

    https://www.sunlive.co.nz/news/220248-toi-ohomai-holding-digital-colonialisation-forum.html

    Toi Ohomai Institute of Technology is hosting an open forum discussion on Tuesday to discuss these ideas and pique participants’ interests on how to maintain data sovereignty as part of the inaugural Tauranga STEM Festival. It’s also part of a range of activities and initiatives hosted by the institute to mark Te Wiki o te reo Māori.

    For at least 30 years I have been asking why we are locking up so many young Maori men. Here is the sort of attitiude that has fostered that.

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    • I can see we are being set up for yet another TOW claim. Digital communication is a taounga and mouri must be compensated for whitey taking it in the colonialisation. Didn’t an old whitey kiwi begin the digital age when he split the atom?

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    • Try watching “Skeletons in the cupboard” it’s a documentary about the pre-maori inhabitants and how they got here. It’s well worth the effort, you can find it on youtube.

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        • A flyer or notice in the paper perhaps re the fireworks, especially if they were really big ones. When I had dogs they would be unpleasantly surprised by normal fireworks being set off by the neighbour, outside of Guy Fawkes week I think neighbours should get a heads up.

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    • To the nearest neighbours apparently, I always thought the key was to invite them to the party too, fish might be seen as an insult? He could have made it a really big party with all the nephs.

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            • Do you think while everyone was looking up in the sky, marveling at the fireworks spectacle, Jones whipped inside, “to watch the video on how to adjust ones trousers rapidly and hide tissues covertly in one easy lesson,” I sent him?
              It’s just that, I was expecting some sort of response.
              Saved my mates marriage.
              Just sayin…

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    • Remember last year Jacininda promised Maori 1000 ne homes. Give KiwiSlum is a fail, what chance Maori got of getting their 1000 homes?

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      • The 1000 Maori homes were to be built after they had achieved their KiwiBuild targets. So – either we will be waiting a VERY long time, or now that the KiwiBuild target has been reset to zero then the time has come for a reset on the Maori home target as well.

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  2. It appears that the police have the same sort of problems that is commonly found in Labour.
    “Bulling remains widespread in the Police”: It just buils up and builder’s up. In 2007 the commission of inquiry led by Dame Margret Bazley recommended wide changes to the Police ‘s handling of sexual assault complaints and wider organizational culture. How ever it appears there remains culture of Bulling in the Police.
    https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12265848
    It seems Labour and the Police are made for each other as the both seem to have the “trait”

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    • Another group has the same “trait”
      Many cows are in good order, and the “season” for “bulling” as as sign of being “in heat” is just a month or so away.
      It must be the “good grass” they consume.
      Sometimes there is the “silent heat” to confound one, but the nature of the beast will eventually still come out, usually in a frustrating way. 🙂

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    • speaking of KB

      Will DPF post an apology and a retraction for his “Trump the lying Despot” post

      For the migrants from Kiwiblog, remember DPF’s TDS fit when Trump fired Comey. Well I couldn’t help recall that as a sign of the onset of this terrible and debilitating mental health condition afflicting liberals the world over as I was watching this blistering attack on Comey by Jeanine Pirro after the I-G’s condemning report on Comey’s misconduct, dishonesty and corrupt behaviour.

      It looks like (once again) DPF is 100% wrong on Trump regarding Comey’s firing (if anything it should have been more like an execution for treason and an attempted coup), but still DPF’s mental illness TDS) continues to rage. It’s sad really, how quickly it came on and how utterly it has destroyed DPF’s objectivity. I hope National have a new pollster in place before the election.

      Just a thought, there doesn’t seem to be much coverage of the I-G report detailing Comey’s corruption and dishonesty. Strange that eh?

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      • DP.
        That treasonous arsehole “Nobody homey Comey” signed off on the phony FISA warrants to try and trap Trump.
        So, with him being 2.03 metres ( 6ft 8 inches) tall and having brown eyes, it goes to show you, you can stack shit that high.

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  3. People we know have just returned from a months outback holiday in Aussie and were shocked when they saw Ardern on TV.

    They thought she looked terrible – aged gaunt face, dark eyes and generally looking scruffy.

    They figured she has been under an enormous amount of stress or else suffering from a serious illness.

    Not a good look for someone fronting our country.

    If she steps down her place will be taken by the little idiot.

    God save New Zealand.

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    • I think its best that she stays in power, as she will make a good target in the election.
      And we will need a lot of time to convince the electorate the the greens and Labour are bad for our country.

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    • And that hideous pink coat that didn’t fit when it was new-ish has gone beige and baggy and looks like its been through the spin-cycle just too many times like its owner .
      Time for Jacinduh to get down to St Vinnies for another one.

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      • Or she could buy on-line. For some reason I get about 2 dozen ads for clothes every day on Facebook. Some of them look look good, and they’re cheap enough to throw out if you get tired of them.

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  4. NZ has a new satire/parody site. Welcome to the Waterton Chronicle
    Nothing to do with me, but I have sent them an article I wrote a while ago in case it can be used. Also thinking of writing one entitled “Pregnant people can still birth their babies” … “but be aware the child may grow up to have opposing opinions, and encountering opposing opinions can be traumatic for many people.”

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    • Brave? Yes – but maybe more resigned to the fact they aren’t going to win either way. So what’s to lose? I understand China will gain complete control over HK after a certain time, as per the agreement signed. So these protesters can taking their beating now..or wait until China gains complete control of the colony again. Then things will be grim ( if not before hand). If these protesters are dead by that time China will not doubt punish the children or remaining family members

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    • Last week Miss 11 in our house was studying the local body elections at school.
      One of the questions was : Why should we vote?
      I insisted she watch ‘Sunday’ last night.
      If you lose the right to vote that’s what you might have to do to get it back again.

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    • For retirees and tourists, will WINZ pay for camper vans for the currently unemployed and it could help the homeless too?

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    • Cruz is a dark horse.
      He was against Trump at the start. Like Lindsey Graham and Chuck Grassley.
      Rumour has it, they were entrenched in blackmail.
      Trump’s systematic draining of the swamp has given them a chance to redeem themselves.
      Cruz ran for President remember.
      My guess is he’ll be a very senior member of the Trump admin or even preferred Vice President in 2020.

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  5. Will this be the straw that breaks Labours back which informs the public that Jacinda Ardern is more about herself and Labour fight to be re-elected than telling the truth about her support the the high ranking Labour Official in her office.
    https://thespinoff.co.nz/unsponsored/09-09-2019/a-labour-volunteer-alleged-violent-sexual-assault-by-a-senior-staffer-this-is-her-story/
    Sexual assault is not a trivial moment it is a crime and we in New Zealand need a Prime Minister that will prosecute a crime like this not someone that is hell bent on hiding it.

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    • Absolutely appalling way to treat the victims. The buck stops at the top LP AND Ms Ardern… Heads must roll!

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    • Yes, but we have to keep ourselves in check here. Violent sexual assault from a Labour serial abuser isn’t nearly as bad as pony-tail pulling is it?

      Violent sexual assault is what we’ve all come to love and respect in our Labour party operatives – nothing says ‘male patriarchy’ and ‘toxic masculinity’ like the odd tug of a pony-tail.

      Every day I just thank the good Lord that we have our brave men and women journalists to speak truth to power about this sort of thing – they help us keep it real and understand who the real mysogynists are.

      (Seriously, we’re living in the ruins of a once great civilisation – socialism is triggering the “End of Days” for Western democracy)

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    • Imagine getting to the age of 60+ and still not realising the government whether national or local is not your friend. They’re no doubt Winston Peters voters with that type of naivety on show: hoping the council would meet them halfway.

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    • I bet the people that sold the house three years ago were hugely relieved to have got a sale. Mind you we don’t know how much it was for.

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  6. Peter Williams has sold out on Magic Radio te Reo this and Te Reo that!
    Think I’ll but play CD’s this week

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    • Yes I had exactly the same experience as you. I tuned in with the idea of relaxing with a coffee, listened for 5 minutes and nearly vomited.

      I wonder if Sean Plunket will continue the same stomach churning theme after noon?

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    • People keep giving Wales and Ireland as examples.
      The thing is most people in Wales are Welsh, and therefore would never be against their own language being revived.
      Here in NZ most people are European and many of us find Maori to be an irrelavent langauge.

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  7. Maori is a beautiful language ?
    Seriously I can speak a bit of a few other languages and I find Maori to be very harsh and pigeon sounding.
    Spanish or French sound much better.

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    • I think Maori sounds as good as either of the above. English is one of the most
      guttural languages going. But I only notice that when I switch from speaking Spanish back to English. However, I will agree nothing sounds worse than pigeon cackle. ?

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    • sounds dramatic “engulfed in fire”.. FFS they had a training exercise using a fucked up helicopter shell.

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    • Is there anything Twyford touches that doesn’t turn to shit , if he’s the best of what Labour has this country is in big trouble.

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  8. Nothing in the news but a Housing NZ ‘client’ said on Magic Radio he had received a letter notifying him that the name Housing NZ would be replaced with a Maori name and be forthwith known as Kohanga something. Sorry missed the 2nd word. How is changing the name going to improve the quality of service? I found an old article from 2018 of Phil Twyford changing Housing NZ’s name,

    “It will also change the name – slightly – from Housing New Zealand Corporation to Housing New Zealand (HNZ).”

    So is this now a 2nd attempt by the same government to change the name of Housing NZ. What a waste of money.

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/107271338/government-moves-to-change-housing-new-zealands-name-and-put-its-social-mandate-into-law

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      • Thank you. I was driving at the time and didn’t commit the name to memory. What’s the point of a name very few understand the meaning. I thought the government departments were in both languages. Have the COL changed this policy?

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        • I have a friend who has a strange habit – he collects what he considers are important stories from a number of newspapers. These tombs make for interesting reading. For example they plot the decline of journalism in New Zealand over the years. But I once read an interesting article in this collection, circa 1993, from the Herald I think. The article explained how bureaucracy and successive governments will start implementing Maori culture into mainstream political structures. An example given was the armed forces who would be given their own haka; Maori names for vessels and operational exercises. Armed forces hierarchy would be gifted Maori cloaks ( korowai) for special events. And on it went. Seems this is just a continuation of the Maorification of New Zealand.

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  9. How the hell are the Police not involved with this? What this poor girl has described is an aggravated sexual assault and attempted rape.

    “He aggressively groped her breasts, she said, before pulling her underwear down and violently penetrating her with his fingers.”

    https://thespinoff.co.nz/unsponsored/09-09-2019/a-labour-volunteer-alleged-violent-sexual-assault-by-a-senior-staffer-this-is-her-story/

    That this is being investigated from within the corrupt Labour Party is beyond belief. Where the hell are the Police on this? They don’t require a complaint to investigate; especially with this sort of information out in the public domain. But then the Thick One and her corrupt cohorts must be protected at all costs I suppose.

    Labour. The Rape Enablers Party.

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    • She needs to make a complaint to the police. So far she hasn’t so she should stop complaining until she has. Thems the rules.

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      • I prefer it this way. If she goes to the police then “the matter is under investigation” rule comes into play & Labour have a made to order excuse to refuse to say anything.

        Meanwhile it’s the death of a thousand cuts for the Rape Enablers Party & its scummy MPs.

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    • Cindy bin Lying, I hate to tell you it’s going to hell in a handcart!
      Looks like you have got Hogworth lined up to take the fall!
      Should have just outed the deviate in the first place!
      It’s certainly looking more like a cover up by the day and you can not say that you did not know!
      If you didn’t know, man are you thick!

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    • I am no lawyer but I would have thought that unconsented digital penetration constitutes rape. Advise please those who do know. Anyways it looks pretty bloody awful.

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    • It’s despicable Kea. The actions of this prick sit at the heavy end of the crimes act so it should be absolutely subject to the full scrutiny of the law. That is isn’t and there is apparent covering up by Labour should, as you assert, bring this absolute travesty of a government down.

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  10. Imagine if national or act! were full of sex pests like the labour party.

    A bunch of incels and beta males on the left who finally snap and resort to force.

    cowards the lot of them

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    • Ardern is despicable. She should be leading, not hiding and duck shoving crimes against her employees. She says it’s the LP, but she is the head honcho when it suits her. No trouble telling the leaders of other countries how to run their own country’s affairs, but she hangs a poor wee child out to dry after a sexual attack by one of her apparent inner circle.

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      • Mallard is trying to hose down the fallout from the “Spinoff’s” allegations now. Normal waffle but one bit of interesting news in RNZ’s article:

        …..”It is understood the staffer in question hasn’t been seen on the Parliament precinct in recent months”…..

        https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/political/398407/sexual-assault-allegation-speaker-says-parliament-safe-environment

        That tends to indicate that the pervert isn’t so much indispensable for his abilities but can’t be got rid of because he knows too much. What could it be? Lawnmower imports, sales & distribution records perhaps?

        Hilary Clinton would know how to handle this……just ask Epstein!

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      • Jacinda Ardern is the LEADER of the NZ Labour Party.
        She can’t pretend that being an MP/PM is separate from being the Leader of LP.
        She holds both Positions.

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        • Only a compulsive liar would try to hide behind that ridiculous semantic position – oh wait it’s Jacinda that we’re talking about.

          Still, I maintain that this is not a serious sexual assault – at no point has anyone suggested that pony-tail pulling was involved.

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        • It’s worse than just hiding behind a lie.

          Either Jacinda knew about this and has been covering this up – which is a resignable and untenable position
          or
          Jacinda has been lied to and failed to check up on her staff – despite more than a year of proof that the Labour party is the party of sexual abuse – in which case she is grossly incompetent and should resign.

          But it’s Labour we’re talking about so different rules apply. I predict:
          – Neve being trotted out
          – some false flag event involving “white supremacists”
          – a major policy announcement (eg government announces $10m to support anti-nose picking programmes)

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          • I would take umbrage at a policy supporting anti Nose Picking Programs.
            I find it difficult to drive without the N.P.P’s.
            I am a multi-tasker by nature and nasal discomfort whilst driving is extremely disconcerting.
            Note: Wind window down. Check.

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    • There’s a 1:5 model of the Endeavour in the Russell Museum. Well worth a look see if you’re in the area.

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      • Deny, deny, deny has been the message:

        “It’s important to be clear that none of the complaints the party investigated related to sexual assault. The person leading the original review made it clear to the complainants that the party would never be the appropriate body to handle allegations of that nature and that they would need to be investigated by the police.”

        How anyone can read that complaint and not see serious sexual assault is defying belief. The LP and top brass obviously believed they could smother these complaints by their young, vulnerable staff. A pat on the head was all it would take to keep the lambs quiet while the wolf was left roaming the halls of power.

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      • ” but but but..John Keys pulled a girls pigtail..the mans obviously a deviant and a sexual predator..Kill Kill Kill”!!!

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    • Did you see the fucking warning on the article? Have we become so soft and precious? Maybe coming from a country where there are 109 reported rapes per day and about 57 murders per day helps one cope with these traumatic reports…

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    • If what is recounted in the above article is correct, the victim was Raped. Jacinda – Let’s Rape This. FFS

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    • Mallard has asked that the accuser come forward to make a complaint.

      Given Labour’s long-running attempts at covering this up, if I was her – I’d be very careful about putting myself in the hands of anyone from the Labour party ever again. I’d be afraid that I’d just be dobbing myself in to the very people who’d failed to protect me in the first place.

      Still, I think we have to bear in mind that a 30 minute penetrative, violent sexual assault is nowhere near as bad as tugging a pony-tail. If this terrible person had taken his finger out of this poor girl’s vagina and gone after her pony-tail – well, we know that the PM would’ve put on a scarf, pulled a sad-face and come down on that animal with the full force of her considerable authority. She wouldn’t have tolerated any pony-tail pulling – not for one second.

      And let this be a warning to any of the legion of sexual assaulters in the Labour party ranks, there has been a line drawn in the sand. Everything up to, but not including pony-tail pulling is OK in the Prime MInister’s books – however, you will definitely be in trouble if you even touch a pony-tail! You have been warned.

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      • I thought the police could take action even if a complaint hasn’t been made. Silly me, Plod is firmly in the circle of Cindy and her bunch of Liarbour deviants. If the chief plod can run interference for her over Jethros lawnmower rumours, then I guess they will not be interfering in piddly this.

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        • It’s only Digital Rape. Nothing to see her, she probably asked for it and was wearing revealing clothing. I mean others have had sexual emergencies and got away with it… FFS I can’t believe this is happening in the PM’s circle of influence. I just hope Sarah does not get Epsteined or similar. If Jacinda had dealt with this properly, she could save face, but it looks like a cover up and she should fall on her sword.

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        • Thanks to Ardern’s lack of leadership and weak decision making the credibility of the Police has taken a major hit.

          When it all comes out into the open, heads will have to roll.

          In years to come historians will deem this Govt to be the most corrupt NZ has ever had.

          Jesus.. Ardern has not had a full term and look at the damage she has already caused.

          I hope the sexual assault case follows Ardern to New York as this will make her front up to foreign media that are not in her pocket.

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          • If you caught anything on this morning’s story about the culture of police bullying. You will have heard even police have no respect for the police hierarchy and call Police HQ “Bullshit Palace”!

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      • Mallard can get fucked. The only people she should be talking to are the police first and her lawyer second; with a view to the mother of all lawsuits against the Labour Party.

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      • What rules? If the volunteer had been a lesbian, it wouldn’t have happened. If I had been her I would have left the position. Why was she having to volunteer anyway?

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        • Rules such as if one commits Rape you are summarily dismissed after having been found guilty by the courts… If a teacher was accused of Rape, they would be stood down pending the outcome of a police investigation and possible trial. Those kinds of pesky employment rules that are supposed to keep people safe at work, or on Summer Camps…

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  11. So let’s see what we’ve got so far:

    1) Convictions for the Karangahake affair. Not for sexual assault as they should have been but the voting public will, in the immortal words of PriNZess “read between the lines”.

    2) Sentencing in November which will re-air the dirty washing.

    3) Multiple complaints of assault from a senior Labour scumbag.

    4) Rape accusations directed at same scumbag.

    5) Complainants who are obviously not going to go away & shut up.

    6) A MSM gaining interest.

    7) A police force that will have to be seen doing something soon.

    Anyone who knows the name of a good wigmaker please contact the Prime Minister immediately! She’s going to crack & soon. 🙂

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  12. I think Maori Language week is a good idea
    I think all Maori should learn to speak English language properly.
    Both grammar and diction and creating full fluid sentences.
    instead of just aping black American street (gutter language)

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  13. There was a person (sounded like a female gorilla) talking (shouting to Ryan bridge on Magic talk.
    She said that language is important.
    And that in India they speak Indian (they don’t)
    And In China they speak Chinese (they don’t)
    But then she mentioned Scotland.
    As if everyone in Scotland speaks Scottish or Gaelic!
    I went to Scotland on Wikepedia, and it did not mention langauge at all!
    Scotland would be a good example as everyone in Scotland is Scottish.

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    • The Scots speak a dialect of English but you could be excused for not recognising it as such.

      It actually sounds like someone chundering into a galvanised bucket with a few oochs & aarhs thrown in for good measure.

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  14. Paul Bennet says Jacinda Ardern should stand down….
    One of her staffers.
    (it seems it should be several of them)

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  15. Northland rail line gets more than $90 million to bring it ‘out of decline’
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2019/09/northland-rail-line-gets-more-than-90-million-to-bring-it-out-of-decline.html?ref=ves-vid4

    “The $98.4 million from the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is the first chunk of funding from the $300 million allocated to the PGF in Budget 2019 for investment in regional rail.

    State Owned Enterprises Minister and NZ First leader Winston Peters said without the multimillion-dollar investment in the Northland rail line, it would become unsafe to use.”

    Shane gets to blow his toy whistle and play train conductor but how is the Northland rail line to become economically viable? Shane says “throw out GDP and restor the line for Northland.” That doesn’t explain how it will pay for its upkeep.

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    • Yes. It would seem that either quite a few people only had “.” to say or the comments were heavily moderated.

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  16. Can’t find the link but Newshub showed Cindy giving a TV news briefing this afternoon on the sexual deviant. She now says he was stood down when the allegations first came to light. Odd that is not what she said at the time. Instead she previously said it was not an employment issue, and was nothing to do with her office as it was being dealt with by the Labour Party. Will anyone pick her up on this discrepancy?

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    • Heather dup etc was talking about this to the 2 Tims at 5pm today.

      Obviously Ardern has been caught out with another lie. Why ban the complainants from parliamentary buildings to avoid a confrontation if he was working from home.

      Ardern is slippery as an eel.

      I did notice her speech is becoming shocking lately with mangled pronunciation. Makes Simon sound normal.

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  17. He will have to compete with Judith Collins book due out next year about her life and times in Parliament. I know which one I’d rather read. I imagine JC’s book with be grist for the Standard to gnaw over and complain about its content, not that any will admit to reading it.

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  18. She’ll be gone by Christmas.
    Peters will take the helm.
    Labour will disintegrate.
    Old guard>New guard>Old guard.

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        • Cindy says she is so “fustrated”. Yes, that your lies didn’t neatly close down the whole Parliamentary rapist saga. So fustrating for you deary. Don’t give a thought to the wee girl who was a victim of rape.

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          • The bit that pisses me off is not a bloody peep out off the MPs from both sides except Paulaslittle beep!
            Where’s all the femanazis, they are bloody quiet too!
            Shit hit’s the fan and the first thing Cindy bin Lying does is haul the squrriel out and wave it in the publics eye!
            When do you think Jethro is dragged out!

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          • And she’s known about the abuse, bullying, harassment for weeks…and only now pretends that it’s all news to her because there is a sexual component to a complaint.
            What an incompetent liar.
            Why didn’t she go and ask the compainants what was going on?
            Why hadn’t she twigged that her Labour hierarchy are a bunch of Noddies.
            Can’t she LEAD?

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            • Because she thought that they would do the right thing. I guess she thought that she was going on the list one day.

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  19. Yeah well, she take the flake bridges with her.
    What an arse.

    Simon Bridges sings Communist Party’s praises in interview with Chinese news channel CGTN

    He praised the Communist Party of China (CPC) for taking the country from mass poverty to economic prosperity, calling it an “amazing story”.

    “It’s the [story] that I think New Zealanders are related to, because we have direct beneficiaries of it as well, as our trade has grown and we have been able to share that growing prosperity of China.”

    He said New Zealand enjoyed a “very strong” relationship with China as a trading partner.

    “The transformation has been so dramatic,” he said. “We have felt the privilege of being able to have many firsts with your party and with your country.”

    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2019/09/simon-bridges-sings-communist-party-s-praises-in-interview-in-china.html

    Not going to be MY PM any more than the useless tart that is there now.

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  20. A young Arkansan boy goes off to college. Half way through the
    semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.

    “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole’ Blue how to talk!”

    “That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”

    “Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”

    So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

    About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

    “So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his Father asks.

    “Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

    “Read!?” says his Father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”

    “Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”

    The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a
    really good lie to tell his Dad. She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

    So she has him shoot the dog.

    When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

    “Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

    “Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’ Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.

    “Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”

    The Father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!”

    “I sure did, Dad!”

    “That’s my boy!”

    The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school in Fayetteville , he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States , and you already know what a lying bitch his girlfriend turned out to be..

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  21. ……”people accused of sexual assault are assumed guilty and have to prove themselves innocent”…..

    Caucus meetings would have to be reconvened to the sex offenders wing at Rimutaka Prison.

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  22. Kerre McIvor quoted Matthew Hootens scathing summary of our leader on the radio this evening.
    She agreed with it.
    Merry Christmas everyone.

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  23. What the last thing Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey did before he departed New Zealand
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2019/09/what-the-last-thing-twitter-ceo-jack-dorsey-did-before-he-departed-new-zealand.html

    “”We will be announcing some of that progress at the UN General Assembly,” Ardern said at her Monday post-Cabinet press conference.

    She said she raised the issue of 8chan with Dorsey, saying: “I sensed an awareness of the issue. I think we’ll probably have an ongoing conversation about it.”

    So no promises by CEO Jack Dorsey. Nevermind, you’ll be able to virtue signal at the UN about your chat with the nice man from Twitter who flew in to meet with you.

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    • Dorsey is a douchebag. Given power he can’t handle…. on purpose. A dumb puppet.
      Much like KB.
      I stopped going there months ago, as soon as Farrar started farting Ardern scented butterflies.

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    • He flew over on his personal jet, met with Cindy, bought some Mrs Mac’s pies and flew out again. No promises but the conversation with Cindy will appease her so she doesn’t keep nagging about it. The problem can be shelved until after next years election. ?

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      • The big media guns have been told to cut it out by the “The Administration”.
        Civil war is not an option.
        Zuckerberg,Sandberg, Dorsey, Pichai have been told in no uncertain terms.
        Censorship is not free speech.
        They are crapping their pants.

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    • Opposite is happening.
      Never interfere with an enemy while they are in the process of destroying themselves.

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    • Cindy is a master at deception, or at least she believes she is pulling the wool over our eyes. Time will tell if she can hold this lie together? The truth will out, too many leaks to keep plugging.

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    • I wouldn’t believe Chompers if she said the sun will rise tomorrow but it’s becoming clearer by the day that she’s leader in name only. Peters & whoever really operates the strings in Labour keep her on as a vote winner letting her have her “kindness” & “caring” standups she craves.

      She’ll be granted witless protection, fed valium & held to gether with string until they get the 2020 election sorted out.

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    • Yea hoo! I hope he’s right!
      Cindy has been blowing smoke, who is she going to throw under the bus?
      Will it be Hogworth? I think he maybe a recent pom import!
      Labour will have to be quick to save her. We have had the waving of the baby and that did not work. Do you think the flanel on the head work, I don’t think so.
      So what will she do, tomorrow? Will she blow off Mikes weekly spot?
      That will be a sign of weakness and she’s spinning!

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  24. I’ve just scanned The Standard for the first time in months.

    This caught my eye:

    it is not my job to educate you in the use of the english language..
    if you can’t work that out..
    what the fuck are you asking me..?

    Philu educating someone in the use of the English language would be like an armed robber educating a chemist store owner on peaceful protest!

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  25. Kea sweetie..

    what is the name given to woman who procures young girls for predatory men?
    (i.e. the equivalent of a pimp/ponce)

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  26. Now for today’s chocolate fish who in 2017 said on NZ TV:

    …..“I believe that it is possible to exist in politics without lying and by telling the truth,”…….

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          • I note that She Who Doesn’t Tell Fibs said:

            …..”No. No. And if I have made a mistake, I fronted it. I’m going to make them in the future, too, Paddy, let’s be clear. But it’s all about fronting them when you do”……

            If I were in your position I’d opt for the cyber chocolate fish……it has more substance than an Ardern statement or a Kiwibuild house! 🙂

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            • Nasska:

              We’re talking about Labour Party people here. If you’re feeling adventurous, and want to offer prizes other than a chocolate fish, then here are some suggestions: an afternoon session with Panty Slut Boy. A late-night session with Darren “Swiss Ball” Hughes. A lunchtime session with Meka “Madam Lashes” Whaitiri. Or, if you’re really feeling generous, an overnight stay at a Labour Party youth camp event! Just to be clear, I wouldn’t be interested in any of these prizes, but there are some broadminded people around!

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  27. Who’d have the guts to run one?
    Dissent running high.
    Government spin out of control.
    The stats would show what “they” want you to believe.
    This is clown world.
    What is up is down and vice versa.

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  28. I wonder if we will get a new poll that asks,
    how long will this PM last,
    Who will take over from Cindy,
    When do you expect the next election.

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