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Welcome to the Labour Government’s Covid-19 Helpline. Please note that this call may be recorded for staff training purposes, and that we’re tracking your cellphone for police operational purposes.

You will need to be ready with your name, address, email, drivers’ licence, passport details, and importantly, with details of your next of kin.

Please choose from the following options:

If you’ve encountered one of our MPs swimming, mountain-bike riding, boar hunting, skydiving, cage fighting, or chainsaw juggling then please press 1. We’ll have a quiet word with the MP in question as their peers are probably keen to learn about exercise options which are open to them. Thanks for sharing.

If you are only a little bit frightened about the Covid-19 but would like to become properly terrified, then press 2. Our Zoom-bot will call you back with a video mashup of some of the very worst global scare stories from distant countries, each narrated by Jacinda so you can feel better about being kept under house arrest here in New Zealand.

If you are experiencing emotional, physical or domestic trauma, or you’ve lost your business or life savings, or you are having suicidal thoughts as a result of being under house arrest, then press 3. The Labour government all about kindness, and a kind person will soon be on the line to tell you how to pull yourself together.

If you’ve found Winston Peters, please press 4. We’ll give you instructions on how to sober him up, crate him up, and courier him back to Wellington.

If you’ve recently arrived in New Zealand, welcome! You’ll notice that no one is home. Press 5 and we’ll email you a pamphlet on fun things to do while you’re here. We’d be ever so grateful if you would cough into your elbow if needed. Thanks so much. Enjoy your stay.

If you are inquiring about our eBay listing “New Zealand Closing Down Sale”, then please press 6.

If you are a serving police officer having paramilitary-style saluting reflexes or unusual marching inclinations, then press 7. We’ll play some stirring music with a voiceover from Andy Coster who will outline how you can constructively channel these aggressions.

If you are applying for membership of the Jacinda Fan Club, then press 8 for good news. Since the closure of Woman’s Day, New Zealand Woman’s Weekly and The Listener we have many new vacancies and we’re taking new applications. Note that we have no stock of Jacinda life-size cardboard cut-outs until tomorrow when our officials will designate cardboard cut-out making as an essential service.

If you are concerned about suspension of civil liberties, living in a police state, or even if your cat is stuck up a tree, then press 9 and wait a few minutes. A team of friendly, uniformed liaison officers will be at your doorstep in no time.

To hear these options again with Jacinda doing the voice-over, press 0.

The Clowns aren’t just in the car.

220 COMMENTS

  1. I got a reaction to the flu jab, so I am now playing the part of an insomniac. The missus reckoned it was a hangover, not the flu jab, but what would she know.

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    • “Im not happy with what you’re saying ,you make me feel uneasy,it even sounds racist”. FFS this was the response from Marcus Lush when an 85 year old lady said ” we should stop buying anything from China until they’ve learned their lesson ,they are to blame for this killer virus”.
      What a fricking whimpy beta boy that Lush is ,does anyone know, is he a Communist ???

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  2. I have wonderful neighbours, but just for the duration of the lockdown, I wish FRANKIE DAROUX lived next door:
    “Why the government needs to ban power tools and loud DIY during covid-19 lockdown”

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    • Now there’s another ladyboy. I just bet he goes around the neighborhood dobbling in residents for all sorts of reasons to the council even when not in lockdown. I bet he knows the council bylaws of by hart. I wonder if he gets many shots in a flaming paper bag on his doorstep.

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    • I wish Frankie Daroux became part of her washing machine experiment from the inside of the machine !
      She’s the kind of stupid that will get her an invite to be a Labour MP. Now they’ve created a Socialist Police
      State, the next thing we’ll need to do is raise our hands before asking “Please Jacinda can I go to the toilet”?
      I guess since common sense has been illegal now for some time … I guess we have a number 8 wire buy-back
      scheme to look forward to.

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  3. Waikato Hosmpital nurses told masks are unnecessary, then they contract Covid-19 on the job

    Coronavirus: Waikato Hospital doctor urging Government to make face masks mandatory
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/new-zealand/2020/04/coronavirus-waikato-hospital-doctor-urging-government-to-make-face-masks-mandatory.html

    Dr Sheng-yang Liao, Geriatrician & Clinical Director of Older Person and Rehabilitation Service at Waikato Hospital, told Newshub four medical teams have been sent home since the nurses returned positive results and now his elderly patients are at risk.

    He wants all hospital staff, regardless of who they’re interacting with, to wear masks to stop the virus spreading.

    “Prime Minister and the Ministry of Health, and all Kiwis – if you can not keep social distance, please wear a mask. Any mask is better than no mask,” Dr Liao says.

    The Ministry of Health says it has increased stocks of PPE but it’s guidelines state this “does not mean all health workers should wear a mask with every patient”.

    They go on to say “we can’t afford to waste or misuse a valuable resource”.

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    • Honestly, all these F**king experts in our hospitals, and it seems they know Jack S**t. All staff should be wearing PPE gear at all times while working up there, people are not always honest when talking about their symptoms. The Minister of sport??? oh noooo, sorry, of health, made sure there was no board at Waikato, its under a supervisor of sorts, so that’s working well aye, OK the board was an absolute disaster, but at least someone / people would be accountable in this balls up. Or under this new regime is no one accountable.

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    • Send the minister of health in with the patients for a day, with the option of wearing a mask or not. Should be a good way to determine the correct message.

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  4. Donald J. Trump
    @realDonaldTrump
    Great News: Prime Minister Boris Johnson has just been moved out of Intensive Care. Get well Boris!!!
    6:39 AM · Apr 10, 2020·

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  5. No rent rises during lockdown… Oops!

    Kāinga Ora apologises after notifying tenants of rent hike
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/new-zealand/2020/04/k-inga-ora-apologises-after-notifying-tenants-of-rent-hike.html

    State housing provider Kāinga Ora is phoning 6000 tenants to apologise after many received letters saying their rent would go up.

    That’s despite the Government putting a six-month freeze on all rent hikes on March 25 due to the fallout from COVID-19.

    In a written statement, Kāinga Ora said most of the letters were mailed out weeks before that announcement, but admits 57 were inadvertently sent after that date.

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  6. Coronavirus : Thousands of Kiwis apply for benefits after Nationwide job losses.
    But Newshub can reveal a Government Department has caused even more pain for some, Kainga Ora formally Housing New Zealand has been forced to apologize to thousands of Tennant’s after sending g them rent increases after the Government had banned rent increases. A copy of the notice sent to one dated April 2nd says from April 7th your rent will be $188.00 a week. Then they were caught trying to lie there way out of it by saying letters went out before the rent freeze took affect as they have to give advance notice. But since the rent took affect 57 more have received rent increases.
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2020/04/coronavirus-thousands-of-kiwis-apply-for-benefit-after-nationwide-job-losses.html
    They couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery.

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      • A 2-bedroom, late 1940s duplex on a 1/4-acre section in Orakei, with views of Rangitoto. (Yes, really.)

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        • $180 is the entire rent.
          Considering most of them have seven kids and another six family members ‘staying’ there as well that’s a lot of WINZ money streaming in…

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  7. Barr disappointed by partisan attacks leveled at President Trump, says media on a ‘jihad’ against hydroxychloroquine

    “It’s very disappointing because I think the president went out at the beginning of [the coronavirus pandemic] and really was statesmanlike, trying to bring people together, working with all the governors,” Barr said. “Keeping his patience as he as he got these snarky, gotcha questions from the White House media pool and the stridency of the partisan attacks on him has gotten higher and higher.”

    https://www.foxnews.com/media/ag-william-barr-disappointed-by-partisan-attacks-levied-at-president-trump-says-media-on-a-jihad-against-hydroxychloroquine

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    • Braybot – No doubt Macrons Darth Vader dressed POO LICE will be out playing Rambo – one day they will find themselves surrounded by 1000,s of angry yellow vests explaining the error their ways in a special way.

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      • Yeah the arseholes have those cannons to blow out dissenters eyes too, just like the Hong Kong police.

        Yellow-vest protests: French demonstrators condemn police violence.

        A leading figure in the movement, Jérôme Rodrigues, addressed the crowd a week after suffering a serious eye injury during a protest in Paris.

        “They shoot at the population with a weapon of war,” he said. “Is that what France is like today? We just want to fill the fridge and we end up losing an eye.”

        https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-47101435

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  8. Seriously folks if we get through this crisis with a very low death rate we have scientists to thank, but the elephant in the room is the massive financial disaster we face and the fact that we have a farcical coalition that couldn’t get anything right before this CCP virus and are now expected to pull us out of the most complex financial situation we’ve ever faced.
    GOOD LUCK WITH THAT .
    This virus may have done a lot of things but I can assure you it hasn’t miraculously made all these fuckwitts smarter ,get prepared for the endless fuckups.

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    • I wish I shared your optimism revtech120 – but all we’re seeing is the result of a cover-up. And that cover-up has twin prongs:
      – the first cover up is in the testing, if you don’t test, you don’t find any infections and if you don’t find any infections then you can lie that there is no Chinese virus problem, this approach only works if you marry it up with prong 2
      – put the whole country under house arrest and enforce it with Gestapo like behaviour by the police (to prevent the vast numbers of asymptomatic carriers in the population that haven’t been tested and probably won’t be for a long time.

      The downside to this liar’s cover story is that moment you lift lockdown – the likelihood is high that you have an explosion of Chinese virus infections any any node where people congregate (which I’m sure stoopid Cindy will say is “Proof we needed a longer lockdown” (to thoroughly destroy the economy)).

      I may be wrong, but I think the period between the end of February when it was obvious it was a pandemic and people were being brought in from all over under next to no quarantine – all because stoopid Cindy wanted he sadface rag on her head moment in Christchurch 15 March – was when we really let Corona virus loose. Aided and abbetted by no testing, no information and a lot of hope.

      We now can’t lift the lock down as the asymptomatics are just the disease in a dormant phase – when they’re released the second wave will begin. Like every ‘flu season, the only way to carry on is to be a grown up, take the hit and not flatten the curve at all, then follow-up with a war of anhilation for China until the pay reparations for the cataclysmic damage that’s going to happen.

      Or we can carry on as we are now and become Venezuala and start getting used to idea of eating rats.

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  9. Japan Will Pay Its Firms to Leave China, Relocate Production as Part of Coronavirus Stimulus Package

    As part of its economic stimulus package, Japan has earmarked $2.2 billion to help its manufacturers shift production out of China. Of this amount, 220 billion yen ($2 billion)is for companies shifting production back to Japan and 23.5 billion yen for those seeking to move production to other countries.

    https://www.news18.com/news/business/japan-will-pay-its-firms-to-leave-china-relocate-production-as-part-of-coronavirus-stimulus-package-2571011.html

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  10. If the lockdown works as Ardern claims then it should also wipe out all flus and colds. Let’s see.

    If the vaccine is a cure, then why hasn’t it stopped around 650,000 flu deaths a year?

    Covid-19 can’t be stopped and is here to stay. Same as all the other flu strains. Facts not feelz.

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        • Did I say “or”?
          Silly me, I meant “and“.
          You mentioned that yesterday, and Wednesday, and the day before, and the day before that ……..

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          • Harvey, yes I know facts trigger you.

            That’s why you dont make those sorts of banal remarks about the thousands of hysterical comments that support your feelz.

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            • Yes dear.
              Everyone is an imbecile except you./
              We hear it daily.

              Heard it all before.
              Over and over and over.
              I guess every blog has one.

              Your goat has my sympathy.

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                  • Good one O-sen!

                    I can’t work out whether you’re a Jap who is fluent in English or the other way around….. but you certainly have an excellent mind. You often come up with stuff that blows me away. Cheers!

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                    • Get Someone’s Goat….”This expression comes from a tradition in horse racing. Thought to have a calming effect on high-strung thoroughbreds, a goat was placed in the horse’s stall on the night before the race. Unscrupulous opponents would then steal the goat in an effort to upset the horse and cause it to lose the race.”

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              • Sorry it’s not an echo chamber for ignorant gibbering imbeciles like yourself.

                Funny how you consider any contrary point of view as ranting, yet not the tsunami of drivel supporting your profound ignorance.

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                • You are so busy labelling us all as imbeciles regardless of our POV, that you haven’t noticed that YSB is not an echo chamber where dissenting views are disallowed.
                  Even the same view expressed by the same contributor day after day after day after day with general and personal insults added for emphasis is accepted.
                  It appears suggesting that contributor change the bloody record brings on another flurry of indignant insults.
                  The only echo chamber around here for ignorant gibberish imbeciles is between your ears.

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                  • Yawn…. heard you the first 3 times. I get it – facts trigger you.

                    Now run along and continue with your chicken little impressions.

                    But you are right about calling the people responsible for this destructive insanity “imbeciles”. They deserve to be called what they really are. Vile ignorant narcissistic filth worthy of nothing but contempt and disgust.

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                    • You started your rant with the WHO figure for flu deaths.
                      The WHO.
                      Yeah, I do get triggered by facts, but you obviously don’t.

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                    • I never mentioned the WHO. I made a brief comment and linked to a Tucker Carlson video.

                      You got triggered and went quite mad. Peace 😊

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    • At the heart of that though, our response has been excessive. Half of New Zealands working population is now receiving a government assistance package. We are going to lose 30% of businesses. And I would expect nearly a quarter of our workforce to be unemployed after 4 weeks.

      For 1 death.

      Jacinda Ardern could and should have made much smarter decisions. Both Godboy Bridges and David Seymour had excellent alternatives that she and her media shut down and derided.

      And we are all fucked thanks to the Prime Minister that wasn’t even trusted in a fish and chips shop.

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      • Thank goodness the sensible voters will have their say in September, in the winter of discontent.

        //

        For the people who vote based on their emotions, we can expect a major Feelz Offensive (I know that I will find it offensive) in August, claiming victory and saving tens of thousands of lives. Simon Bridges will be nowhere to be found in the pages of the media.

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        • The Jacindamaniacs on FB are already claiming she has saved “Up to 80,000 Kiwi lives” with her “amazeballs” leadership…
          There will be another petition going round soon for a Nobel Prize for Jacinda-Mark my words….

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          • Thanks Capricorn One, I was just enjoying the beautiful day drinking coffee and having a hot x bun and now you have made me feel quite ill.

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      • Yes 1 death. Which shows the lockdown didn’t save her. It will save no one. Experts expect 80% + will be infected.

        Hundreds of thousands are on welfare. Supported by a massively diminished workforce in a global depression.

        All because narcissistic imbeciles can’t accept their own mortality.

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    • An opportunity to slap Huawei (a company under the control of the CCP). America will act in their own interests.

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  11. Ed, Well done with the heading picture above of the Labour clown car complete with CoL clowns. An excellent visual statement, and made me a giggle this morning. 😂😂😂

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        • Should have put over the phone line controls, to the lights, stereo systems etc..
          A few false narkings, will cure the the little boy’s wolf. 🙂
          Even better remote video watching to see the police arrive, and then do an urgent call that some one is breaking into the bach. 🙂

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          • RM, which ones would mark?
            The ones at the batch, because you came or the ones at home because you have a batch and they are jealous?

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    • People still have to eat. Trouble is the lockdown has destroyed the global economy and no one has any money. And now unimaginable debt.

      This is going to much much worse than people think.

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        • They have essentially printed money. To buy votes.

          This entire lockdown is politically motivated and constructed to make it appear Ardern saved tens of thousands of lives. No non political expert supports this madness.

          I will forever treat lockdown supporters as the ignorant narcissistic human garbage they are.

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          • They have essentially printed money. To buy votes.

            Printing money was always that economic wizard Russell Norman’s dream. 😳

            Enough said!!

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          • Hey Kea mate, often you make a pretty good point. Why do you then go on to ruin it with such insulting language? Don’t you realise how much it puts people off taking you seriously?

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  12. The King of Timbuktu once desired a throne to sit upon. It takes so long to make that the King dies before it is finished, and as his only surviving son is still a little boy the people appoint a Regent. And the Regent wisely stores away the throne so that he will not sit upon it himself and become over-proud and think himself a King, and they put it in a grass hut with a regiment of soldiers keeping out all intruders.
    Later when the King’s son grows up they go to fetch the throne only to find that the grass hut wasn’t weatherproof and the throne has been destroyed by a combination of dry rot, wet rot, mould, termites, ants, and as many other pests as you care to mention.
    Thus proving, sadly, that people who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

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  13. Now, here’s how to change the climate. Control it yourself.

    Greta can bark at the moon anytime she likes.

    US patent no: 4,686,605
    Patented: Aug 11 1987.

    US Air Force Admit They Can Control the Weather

    All they need to do is twist a knob to change the frequency of the main wave to the microwave range for a modulated frequency [FM] broadcast, and increase the transmission power high enough to reach and heat up the atmosphere above the designated target.

    https://geopolitics.co/2015/06/06/us-air-force-admits-they-can-control-weather/

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  14. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKmUxSlOoUE
    SPECIAL REPORT: China’s deadly coronavirus cover-up

    Chinese journalists have shed light on their country’s deadly coronavirus cover-up which has led to tens of thousands of deaths and sent global economies crashing to a halt.

    Sky News Australia presents COVID-19: Ground Zero – an investigation into what caused the killer coronavirus and how China managed to bury the truth for so long.
    Ground Zero also details the incredible steps nations around the world are taking to minimise the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic.

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    • Stop posting bullshit. The virus has not crashed the economy. The lockdowns have.

      The lockdowns will result in millions of additional deaths. The lockdowns will cause unimaginable suffering for years.

      Not the virus. THE LOCKDOWN.

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      • Let people make up their own minds! While some bird brains get obsessed and refuse to allow any information other than their own view, most of us can assess information for ourselves. 🙄

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        • That’s rich coming from someone who spends all day posting msm hysteria to justify her misinformed paranoia.

          You might actually feelz better if you read some real science and analysis.

          And stop this silly nonsense of pretending you have a view. You don’t. You simply follow the lying msm narrative.

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          • I’ve told you before, I’m posting articles as information to those who wish to read them, but I don’t believe the majority of it. Just keeping informed on what the lefties are pumping out to the masses…

            While you refuse to consider anything that isn’t your own opinion! Isn’t that called being dictatorial?! Or in more earthy lingo, an “arsehole”?.

            And no you haven’t rattled my cage. 😎

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            • Kea’s just look for someone to rumble with. He thinks I’m a gullible target but I’m well schooled in such tactics. 😜

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          • The birds on the piss again. Go have a lie down birdy, have a cup of tea and maybe a wiper rubber.

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  15. A total of 181 new corona virus cases in Tokyo yesterday. (I don’t know how many diagnostic tests were performed, so there is no context.)
    The daily total is rapidy increasing. The majority of the cases (121 out of the 181) have unknown sources, although a significant proportion have been sourced to hospitals.
    I expect the daily increase to hit 4 figures before too much longer.
    Case numbers are also rapidly increasing in the Osaka and Nagoya regions.
    The Tokyo government has requested bars, Internet cafes, nightclubs, karaoke clubs, strip joints and pachinko parlors to close. The news programs are showing shuttered and darkened alleyways that would normally be a blaze of lights and people drinking shoulder-to-shoulder.

    Like in New Zealand, the news in Japan is going to be pretty much Covid Update 24/7 for the foreseeable future.

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  16. Any truth to the rumour that (if they manage to govern alone) Labour are planning on banning Easter and replacing it with public holidays on both Jacinda and Baby Neve’s Birthdays?
    Embrace the glorious Socialism Comrades!

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    • No, but they will be trying hard to find another excuse to ban Anzac Day again.

      I do believe that there will be a statue of her erected in Parliament Grounds in the near future. Paid for by the taxpayer of course.

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      • Anzac Day is gone already mate! Sadly we won’t see those big dawn parades ever again…
        Several members of this Government were actively involved in the disgusting and disrespectful Dawn Service Protests about ten years ago-This mob have been looking for an excuse to piss on our War Dead for years…

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  17. The image above reminds me of the craze that went on for a little while when I was a high school –mini crushing competitions. We competed to see how many kids could be packed into a mini.
    Those Labour guys above need a few lessons !

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    • fuck you. Posting shit like that.
      I have avoided like the plague clicking links to Ardens family matters so that it doesn’t get repeated on my feeds.
      Don’t encourage them by doing that. or if you do how about warning us that you are posting crap.

      Thank you.
      I despise the tart and her efforts to family promote including crap about her fishing and rooting buddy.

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    • It used to be that is was an “unwritten rule” that media kept away from politicians families. That stopped when they attacked Key’s kids and I suppose now it is part of the Labour PR machine.

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    • Yes, stick a warning on it Saggy!

      I saw that propaganda on their website but refuse to post her drivel.

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  18. A new word has emerged on SNS in Japan: “Corona Rikon” (Corona Divorce) as couples are forced to spend long hours in small dwellings. Normally, this doesn’t happen until the husband retires, but this new phenomenon is affecting young couples. (I am not entirely surprised by this.)

    In the Japanese media, the term “DV” is frequently appearing when reporting on the relationship strains all this close confinement is creating.

    The depressed hotel industry in Tokyo has lept to the rescue, offering “Escape packages” whereby one partner of a couple can temporarily rent a hotel room to get a Time Out from their family.

    Note: Divorce in Japan is instantaneous once both parties have filed their application for divorce with the local government office. Not like in New Zealand, which usually requires a lengthy period of separation, as I understand it.

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    • And courts and lawyers, usually paid for by the taxpayer.
      Add to that social workers, winz ,et al, again all paid for by the taxpayer.

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      • Generally, yes.
        The number of lawyers in Japan is kept articifically low by the law association. The general rule in Japanese society is to try to avoid using lawyers as much as possible, and to enter into agreements based on “sincerity and good faith.”
        Rules are negotiated and a flexible attitude is encouraged. “Lawyering up” is generally frowned upon.
        Also, the pace of the Japanese courts is glacial. Adjudication is not for the faint-hearted.
        BTW. There are no juries in Japan. The legal system is based on the French rather than the English one.

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  19. Don’t mess with the drug runners.

    That’s the advice Hone Harawira is giving his checkpoint workers in the far north.

    The former MP says tourists are still coming north, some of them off yachts, and the checkpoints try to send them back to Whangarei or Auckland to observe the lockdown.

    He says every day now feels like Sunday in Kaitaia as locals stop moving around, but there is one exception.

    “Drug runners are still moving. We can stop whānau. We can stop tourists. We can stop locals travelling around too much, but I’m telling people don’t try to intercept the fried breads. Wave them on and just take their details, don’t try to be a police force. That’s a very dangerous affair and it is going to get worse,” he says.

    Hone Harawira says people need to get through the lockdown by slowing down rather than sparking up.
    https://www.waateanews.com/waateanews/x_news/MjQxMDE/Drug-runners-defy-lockdown-restrictions?fbclid=IwAR32v40vtzKl3BMNOAv5wigjhNc8BQq4Jmo8yWVMliVtEz_P16DgpRJL9i0

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    • How very brave of you & your mates Hone. You’ll happily intimidate & interrogate people going about their lawful business but if you see scum who might be carrying the one substance that will kill more of your people than Co-vid you wave them through. A van with a couple of tourists & you’re a hard man but a couple of bros on Harleys with the Far North’s weekly supply of meth & you shit your Treasures.

      You make me sick!

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      • This racist tribalist’s warning about drug runners shouldn’t surprise anybody. His mates and family most likely ARE said drug runners. The cunt is simply protecting his income stream during difficult times.

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    • Hone does not want the North’s economy to collapse. Drugs are an essential industry. Just like the Easter Bunnies.

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  20. Hang on a moment. Lives are actually being saved because of the virus.
    Crikey, this no contact, economic destruction scheme is a pretty good way to gain control.

    This Is Strange: Total US Deaths in March 2020 are Actually Down 15% from Average of Prior Four Years

    After deaths for the entire month of March are reported, the results show that deaths in the US this March are 15% less than the average of the past four years!

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/04/strange-total-us-deaths-march-2020-actually-15-average-prior-four-years/

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  21. Army field hospital for Covid-19 surge leaves Seattle after 9 days. It never saw a patient

    Gov. Jay Inslee’s office on Wednesday announced that the state will be returning a field hospital deployed to CenturyLink Field Event Center to the U.S. Department of Defense.

    The 250-bed facility, for which setup began on March 30, was intended to help Washington state’s health care system tend to non Covid-19 patients in the event of a hospital surge.

    But just three days after announcing the facility was ready to receive patients, officials say they’re returning the hospital to the federal government.

    https://www.kuow.org/stories/washington-state-to-return-centurylink-field-hospital-to-feds

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  22. HUGE! MN Senator and Doctor: Hospitals Get Paid More to List Patients as COVID-19 and Three Times as Much if the Patient Goes on Ventilator (VIDEO)

    Senator Dr. Scott Jensen: Right now Medicare is determining that if you have a COVID-19 admission to the hospital you get $13,000. If that COVID-19 patient goes on a ventilator you get $39,000, three times as much. Nobody can tell me after 35 years in the world of medicine that sometimes those kinds of things impact on what we do.

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/04/huge-mn-senator-doctor-hospitals-get-paid-list-patients-covid-19-three-times-much-patient-goes-ventilator-video/

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    • We are witnessing the most shameful period of mass hysteria and ignorance in human history.

      This time will be studied for centuries by academics and psychobabblists.

      Forever more I will regard people as either lockdowners or decent folk and treat them accordingly.

      8

      1

      • Regardless of how people digested the facts as they understood them at the time the biggest risk is that the globalists & new world order freaks will know exactly which buttons to press next time they want to further their cause.

        We’ll survive this & the world will still turn but let’s learn from our mistakes & be ready for the next assault.

        7

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      • “Forever more I will regard people as either lockdowners or decent folk and treat them accordingly.”

        Lists of those you approve of and those you disapprove of. Thought Paddy Gower and Matt Nippert already had that covered! 😜

        5

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  23. Anyone else been watching the boat journey, Bluff to Antarctica?
    Wish they would use sound as well to tell you the printed word on the screen so you can look at the screen to catch highlights,

    3

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  24. She seems to be fighting the good fight from the US. Says she experienced SARs outbreak firsthand.

    Jennifer Zeng 曾錚
    @jenniferatntd
    An interesting poll among Chinese netizens (6596 people voted)
    If the #US decides to overthrow #CCP, & a war breaks out, who will you help?
    81.8% choose “help the US”
    7.7% choose “help the CCP”
    10.5% choose “stay neutral”

    https://twitter.com/jenniferatntd/status/1247305977797500939

    5

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    • There’s not going to be a war.
      Japan and the US are going to start repatriating industries back to their own borders. China will not like this at all.
      The downside is that you will have to pay a lot more for consumer goods, due to higher wages, compliance costs, higher capital expenses and less competition, but at least you will see “Made in Japan” again.

      “Made in Italy” I would not trust so much…

      13

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      • ……”at least you will see “Made in Japan” again”……

        Strange how things change over time. As kids in the 50s we weren’t all that keen on being given toys with Made in Japan stamped on them as they were poorly crafted junk which fell apart in a few days.

        Nowadays the same words indicate something of the highest quality.

        10

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        • In my younger years I worked with Japanese design engineers who partnered with German craftsmen.
          Sublime combo, if you wanted to learn the benefits of precision and personal discipline.
          None of this’ parasitic laziness, dependence, and opportunism of the cadger’.
          A short, sharp shift was in order if you strayed.
          We have let tolerance be the catch-cry, without understanding it’s crippling societal implications when left unchecked.

          8

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          • Your input on this BN.

            Sometime in the early 70s at a backyard social function I was introduced to a bloke who was somewhat of an expert in the car industry. He was a Kiwi who had served his time as a mechanic in the PO Taita workshops the after a few years in the trade went to do his OE. He got as far as Canada where he found a fill in position with an American franchise. They must have liked his style because they took him on permanently & he ended up managing the company. But I digress.

            We were banging on about how the small Jap Datsuns & Toyotas were light years ahead of the Pommie garbage we were used to & how much better they were built. Our compatriot quoted a study based on measuring the machining tolerances of various components. It found that although most Jap made stuff was out by a fraction their competitors products were more often perfect & more often way outside permit-able tolerances.

            He considered this to be the most important factor. Your thoughts?

            2

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            • “It found that although most Jap made stuff was out by a fraction their competitors products were more often perfect & more often way outside permit-able tolerances.”

              Clarification: Are you saying that the competition’s products were either perfect or were way outside the permissable tolerances?

              1

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              • ……”Are you saying that the competition’s products were either perfect or were way outside the permissable tolerances?”…..

                That’s the way it was explained to me. The report he was quoting had been ordered by his employers to find out how they were being beaten in the quality stakes.

                1

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                • I think that the Japanese manufacture will take a more holistic view of the complete product. How well does the product fulfill its intended function? How easy is it to service? In the case of an automobile, it makes little sense to have the transmission gears machined to Teutonic perfection if the electrical connectors to the spark coils tend to let in water in the winter. You have to look at the ENTIRE package.

                  Perhaps the Japanese production companies handle their subcontractors better. Quality control is a big thing in Japan. Japanese companies took the lessons of American W. Edwards Deming to heart. In Japan, Deming is revered even though the Americans largely ignored him in the 1960s.

                  4

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                  • Yes. As I understand it quality control is China’s Achilles Heel too.

                    As ably demonstrated in the latest reports over pharmaceuticals.

                    3

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                  • Unforyuanately we didn’t take Deming to heart here in NZ. We did have Deming Institute for a while and I went to some really intersting seminars etc. But TWI it wasn’t considered wirth bothering about during the height of the 80’s finacial wizardry and both dissappeared.
                    TWI teaches people to teach. something that should be compulsory becuase if the learner hasn’t ;earn then the teacher hasn’t taught.
                    Though a number of times I should set it up but just have enough to do.

                    1

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              • Largely true Kea though in the last five years South Korean made cars are up there with the best.

                Yet the Yanks still make some of the best trucks & heavy earthmoving machinery around.

                5

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                • A mechanic mate said years ago that if it wasn’t for the Japanese, the Poms would still be making Morris Minors.

                  5

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                  • I once visited the motorcycle museum at Suzuka once. Among the exhibits from the 1960s was a bank of works Mikuni carburetors for the Honda 6-cylinder 250 cc racing bike (the RC166 (1966)). (Engine sound video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o57JwibqCb8)

                    Think of BSA and Triumph in the UK in 1966 and the quality of their engines with their awful Anal carburetors.

                    The castings of the Mikuni carburetors was so incredibly detailed and well thought-out. It was obvious that even by 1966 (a good 3 years before the release of the Honda CB750) that the writing was on the wall for the English motorcycles with their pre-war technology.

                    3

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              • I purchased a Kia two years ago.
                Excellent.

                In honour of Kea.

                Best car since my 1980s Audi although the Toyota Curran in between was a nice drive.

                1

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            • The ‘go – no go’ gauge allowed manufacturers to employ semi skilled workers.
              Smart, extremely effective and less anal.
              In my time working with these professionals, I was unaware that my other purpose was to listen intently to instruction and carry out a mini upheaval, of sorts.
              The goal was to shift entrenched beliefs around being ‘a specialist’ and to ignite a conversation around being versatile.
              I managed to convince most, with guidance, that a varied skill set will often guarantee employment retention, and much rosier future prospects.
              The Slavic old school precision engineers were the hardest to shift as post war and ongoing biases would flair up.
              Upon reflection, I believe the kiwi sense of humour, sheer bloody mindedness and authentic respect, may have been identified as a tool to be exploited by my employers.
              By the way, I got the job because I could convert Imperial measurements into metric without using a calculator.
              Symbolic, in some ways.

              4

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      • What about the Made in NZ fashion label where only the label was made in NZ.
        Taking the piss, much.

        5

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    • Interesting poll. I have been wondering for a few weeks if President Xi will survive this. China is “losing face” in the international community. In any any other country he would probably get rolled. But China is a different story. He has solidified his position in recent years –President for life instead “retiring” after a set period (10 years). I think he has taken China back from the openess created under Hu Jintao and others.
      It will be interesting to watch.

      5

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      • I was very concerned when the CCP accepted Xi’s consitutional amendment to make him “President for Life” instead of bowing out after two terms in office.
        No good will come of this.

        8

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  25. So Ardern (still desperately trying to get that Nobel Prize) is claiming the lockdown was COMPLETELY her idea alone after ‘talking with friends overseas’….
    This is just fucking ridiculous. Utter bullshit Propaganda that Goebbels would have been proud of!
    Surely there will be a backlash from the General Public? They are treating us like we are fucking idiots…

    15

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      • When we get our ‘One World Government’ I am going to retrain and hopefully get a job in the Ministry of Truth….

        10

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        • If that doesn’t pan out you could try the Ministry of Peace which concerns itself with war, the Ministry of Love with torture or the Ministry of Plenty with starvation all of which will prosper under the reign of PriNZess.

          But first your Labour Party membership card.

          8

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          • Labour Party Membership? Is it true I have to get rogered at a Labour Party camp when I join? Not too keen on that aspect….

            10

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                • Well, I fucked the union delegate at our yard about forty years ago after the smelly little pom set me up for a hiding from their goons. It was a masterpiece of a beating & the soap dodger managed to get his doctor to sign medical certificates for six weeks afterwards.

                  I’d say he was well fucked. Does that count? 🙂

                  8

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                  • You re a fine man Sir Nasska.
                    I can understand that with those union pricks from the 70s and 80s.
                    Helen Kelly’s father was a complete prick.
                    They were mouthy bastards -almost entirely English and Irish commies.

                    7

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                    • He was indeed. so was Fintin Patrick Walsh. an arse on two feet if ever there was. As were people like Middlemarsh,and so many others like them.

                      6

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      • Dunedin is infested with lefties.
        Patman has been interviewed on the radio a few times and I always thought he was one of them.
        How many more University UN reps are going to emerge now and back up Patman?
        Scary times.

        10

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        • Dunnystan really is a shit hole of the world.
          We should grant them independence
          It can become the Glorious Liberated Soviet State of Dunnystan.

          I remember years ago Paul Henry had Patman on his evening news/CA show.
          Patman was this intense wee fuckwit.
          always a worried look.
          Probably on the autism scale.
          He made me laugh out loud.
          I saw him as intense and rubbing his hands in Uriah Heep overdrive.

          1

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    • Yep, no consideration for the medical professionals calling for lock-down, the business community, the opposition. But her overseas friends thought it was a good idea. You couldn’t make this shit up.

      9

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      • Who Tudeau and Macron.
        Always knew she couldn’t think to save herself let alone the rest of us.

        4

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    • Capricorn
      Why repeat and give it oxygen when you know it is bullshit?

      It is pointless drivel.
      That is all you will get from NZ media filth.

      it is safe to say if it is in ‘the media’ post 2008 (Obama time ) it is likely to be bullshit.

      I am amazed at how utterly gullible NZers are.
      To be fair, it is a meek and unthinking society.
      Fed the bread and circuses of Rugby for years.

      I went on Linked in the other day for the first time this year.
      The Ardern sycophants are piled up 5 deep.
      They are pathetic.
      The pathetic praise from so-called business people- many of whom will not have a job in 10 weeks or a business to go back to- are truly dumb pillocks.
      It is very disappointing.

      You can see the work of the media in NZ and AU
      They praise Obama, the African warlord, who took war to multi countries and bombed the F out of civilians esp with cowardly drones but call Trump bad when he has not started a war anywhere and pulled back the North Korea conflict and tried to get focus back on industry in the USA rather than spending on continuous war.
      But all you get is how bloody marvellous the Half caste Hawaiian Homo was an how bad the Orange man is .

      Goebbels had nothing on modern media filth.
      They have filled the head of the populace with misinformation.
      The fools spout it back to you as if they are informed!
      So Sad.

      7

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    • So NZ has it’s second death, lady in her 90s with underlying health issues.
      She was in a group of 20 infected at retirement villae Rose Lodge in ChCh.
      Very sad for her family. This could easily been avoided. I do hope the other 19 isolating in Burwood Hospital are on their way to recovery.

      6

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      • A person over 90 in a rest home has died.
        We had better close the country then and crash the economy!

        How is it sad?
        The person had over nine decades on the planet and was in a rest home.
        Chances of living 2 more years- less than 20%.
        The only way out was via a pine box.

        My father died a few years ago in his 90s after 3 years in a rest home.
        After a year in there he emphasised strongly – do not revive.
        They are not fun places.

        My darling aunty died at 90 at the beginning of March.
        She had a heart attack 2 years ago and a stroke earlier in the year.
        There was no joy left.
        As fine as she was, life is finite and we don’t get out alive.
        Perhaps we can class her death in March as COVID 19 to get the numbers up and justify the crashed economy!

        Let’s be realistic.

        9

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        • …..”Let’s be realistic.”…..

          I have no problems with that but try running it past the Godaddled & see how you get on. During the Death with Dignity debate last year we heard every implausible & untenable reason why life could not possibly be terminated except exactly why the old must be kept alive.

          Even if they don’t personally know of an old person being forced to exist beyond their wishes they should look around. Vascular dementia is the worst as a series of small strokes robs those afflicted of their minds.

          Advances in medicine can extend the time the body carries on but the deterioration in the mental faculties of most of those who make ninety suggests that we are kidding ourselves.

          Death at 90 is NOT a tragedy.

          4

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        • Resthomes offer comfort to people who would struggle to retain their indepence in the community (living in their flat and walking/driving to the supermarket). Such places are like going back to kindergarten.
          Once you enter a resthome, you have crossed the threshold and there is no going back to your former life. Your life as an adult ends, and your life as a resident/kindergartener begins.
          The circle draws closer to completion.

          7

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          • Well put Odakyu-sen. Once you have to enter a resthome you’re dog tucker.

            The nicest spin you could put on it still leaves them as a holding pen for the undertaker.

            5

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      • The lady has died from complications of a virus that should have been caught at the border. With the country in economic ruins, we have just today introduced mandatory testing for new arrivals.
        Gee – no rush or anything.

        1

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  26. So the TU detrators would see their employees out of a job completely instead?

    Coronavirus: Taxpayers’ Union gives up ‘ideological purity’, accepts $60,000 in taxpayer wage subsidies
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2020/04/coronavirus-taxpayers-union-gives-up-ideological-purity-accepts-60-000-in-taxpayer-wage-subsidies.html

    “This decision was made on the basis of our ethical obligations to staff during the Government-mandated economic shutdown,” a post on the group’s website said.

    “The decision to accept this subsidy was not as simple for us as for most organisations. Prior to COVID-19, we have stated on the record that we would never accept taxpayer funding. That commitment was, of course, made in a time few New Zealanders could possibly have anticipated COVID-19 and the ensuing economic situation.

    “After brief deliberation, the Taxpayers’ Union board determined the welfare of our employees to be a more pressing immediate concern than ideological purity.”

    “It is important to distinguish between targeted corporate welfare, which we oppose, and across-the-board compensation for the effects of a Government-mandated economic shutdown.”

    6

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    • I have zero time for the TU.
      When Jordan Williams a 30 y.o. bloke had to use his mother for a character reference in court against Christian Colon he was toast.

      He had no connections to business leaders that would vouch for him.
      Fruity Farrar is in it.
      I would not count that as effective.
      The auckland spinoff of it from a a few years ago was a complete joke.

      Have they ever achieved anything real?

      2

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  27. Warning 🤢

    Coronavirus: CNN praises Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand COVID-19 response
    https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/politics/2020/04/coronavirus-cnn-praises-jacinda-ardern-new-zealand-covid-19-response.html

    US news giant CNN continues to pile praise on Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and New Zealand’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic, saying Aotearoa is setting an “ambitious goal”.

    “Seventy-two hours after the deadliest mass shooting in New Zealand’s history, Ardern announced a ban on semi-automatic weapons while also consoling a traumatised nation.”

    etc, etc

    7

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    • The only one traumatised was her and her new friends. The rest of us treated it a s just another day at the office in the world of religious bigotry.

      6

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  28. Enough with the Wuhu hu flu.

    Just watching a hawk pluck a possum in readiness for a great feast. We put the possum in the paddock directly below the house for our viewing pleasure.

    At about 9pm last night this filthy thing walked along the deck right past the lounge doors, light and tv on and all. Couldn’t believe it!

    So Mrs Floyd and I grabbed a torch each and I grabbed a weapon, and we went out in the hope of finding him.

    We have had a live cage trap set up out on the deck for the last couple of weeks after this thing had been sitting on our outside furniture and the railings, shitting everywhere. But it hadn’t worked, as there’s so much food here for a possum to dine on.

    With figs, peaches, apples, plums and pears all ripening up we really wanted this prick dead. We knew it liked sitting in the acorn tree too, but each time I had ventured out after dark I never found him.

    So, the stupid prick didn’t run away, but climbed a rose bush stand where he first impeded a fast moving projectile. As they do, he scarpered on that, and so the hunt was on. I knew he’d head straight up a tree, and after another 5 minute search we found him up his favourite, the acorn.

    The sound of a possum thudding to the earth from twenty feet up really is something you don’t tire of.

    It was most a satisfying kill, and so now just watching the hawk get another free feed.

    Ah, the country……

    😎

    13

    1

    • Nice! Your fruit trees will be spared at least one freeloader. Next the flocks of birds that peck a hole in each fruit just as they ripen. 🙄

      7

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    • Get a Fox Terrier….I’ve only got to make a possum noise and our one is fired up and ready to shake the living daylights out of any thing that moves. She got a weasel yesterday and a decent size rat, and they are the ones that I’m know about.

      7

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      • Yes great little hunters those, for sure Toko!

        I’m not really a small dog person though….🐕

        3

        0

          • Our border collie huntaway starts barking and rounding up all the birds when we open our roadside gate. Look at me , I been protecting the property all day. Funny

            4

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            • Collies being an eye dog with the hunterway bark are a great combination, and they have an adorable nature. ❤️️

              2

              0

    • Resist the force

      Power to the people.

      Andrew Little and Witless-protected Davis keep emphasizing people should not be in jail and we dont need to build any more.

      Nek minute- the whole county is a jail.
      Armed, uniformed wardens blocking roads = Prison Nation.
      Smiths Dream. C K Stead.

      Vive la resistance.

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  29. For your amusement—Have caught 48 Possums on our lawn this year.
    They are filthy animals that take delight in eating the roses and other valuable garden plants.
    A losing battle we will have to look at poison
    Protected in Australia though

    9

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    • Haha great work Falcon! Disgusting filth that they are!!

      Yes, stupid Australia, wtf is with that! Gross……

      5

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        • If you pluck the fur it averages out at about $5 a carcass.

          That would feed the foxy & buy you some earplugs or a good bottle of scotch. 🙂

          4

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  30. Top EU science adviser resigns: ‘I have lost faith in the system itself’

    Ferrari, who became president of the council in January and is the EU’s top scientist, said his proposal to create a special program dedicated to combating COVID-19 was unanimously rejected by the research council.

    “I am afraid that I have seen enough of both the governance of science, and the political operations at the European Union. In these three long months, I have indeed met many excellent and committed individuals, at different levels of the organization of the ERC and the EC. However, I have lost faith in the system itself,” Ferrari said in a statement to the Financial Times announcing his resignation.

    https://thehill.com/policy/international/europe/491720-top-eu-science-adviser-resigns-i-have-lost-faith-in-the-system

    6

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  31. Over 45 years ago, I had a conversation with a dental nurse about a person we may have both known and we were trying to establish whether it was the same bloke.
    She said, “he’s got a big diastema”.
    I said, “he’s got a big what?”
    From that day, I have never forgotten the word and the other week, someone here made reference to the gap between Stacey Abrams central incisors. I was able to big note about the correct word for this condition.

    Here is Stacey in all her glory…. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/debe7ce45fdcf9cc06cce645d8e14d7ac28e6b458d999f58172923f2edf68e1e.png

    5

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    • I’ve only seen the word used in relation to animal teeth.
      For instance Rabbits don’t have canine teeth… just a diastema between their incisors and premolars.

      My Father had a gap between his front teeth and was told as a young man that as he could place a half-crown in that gap he would become rich. He proved that old wive’s saying was a lie.

      4

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  32. Minnesota State Senator Scott Jensen appeared on a local news show to report that doctors were receiving instructions from the Minnesota Department of Health to report Covid19 as a cause of death, even if the patient was never tested.

    Senator Jensen, who is also a practising physician, said he had never before in his thirty-five-year career received specific instructions on how to fill out a death certificate.

    The apparent policy of Minnesota – to report any and all pneumonia or “flu-like illness” decedents as Covid19 cases, with or without a test – ties in with the US policy as described by the CDC’s official memos.

    https://off-guardian.org/2020/04/10/watch-dr-scott-jensen-reveals-ridiculous-covid19-guidance/

    5

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    • Perhaps there is a federal incentive for the Minnesota Department of Health have as many reported Covid19 deaths as possible.

      I heard a story about how many years ago a British bureau in India wanted to wipe out a local rat population (for obvious health reasons) and made the mistake of offering money for every rat tail handed in.

      What do you think happened?

      3

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      • O.. yen
        I’ll have a stab at the 1857 Indian rebellion….if that is the answer then this was my understanding of the cause…
        “The final spark was provided by the ammunition for the new Enfield Pattern 1853 rifled musket.[39] These rifles, which fired Minié balls, had a tighter fit than the earlier muskets, and used paper cartridges that came pre-greased. To load the rifle, sepoys had to bite the cartridge open to release the powder.[40] The grease used on these cartridges was rumoured to include tallow derived from beef, which would be offensive to Hindus,[41] and pork, which would be offensive to Muslims. At least one Company official pointed out the difficulties this may cause:

        However, in August 1856, greased cartridge production was initiated at Fort William, Calcutta, following a British design. The grease used included tallow supplied by the Indian firm of Gangadarh Banerji & Co.[43] By January, rumours were abroad that the Enfield cartridges were greased with animal fat.”

        2

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        • No.
          What happened was that local entrepreneurs started up rat farms to supply the tails (for the money).

          When you demand quotas, your underlings will fulfill those quotas with no regard to the reasons for setting the quotas in the first place. For example: order them to get more speeding fines (to save lives) and they will go to the bottom of the steepest hill in the most affluent suburb (even though the horror crashes are happening in the poorer areas of town at 2:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning and are more than often caused by “oppressed” minorities already over-represented in the statistics (a source of embarassment to the politicians who seek equality of outcomes)).

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  33. Re tails ,or thereby hangs a tale.?
    Certain old time deer cullers were dab hands at making many tails out of one deer skin..

    They were paid per tail

    6

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  34. At least one group of people are celebrating this coronavirus and the lockdown this Easter.

    Altar boys.

    4

    0

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