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No Fighting Boys- Jennifer Lopez

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Is this is a job worth fighting for?

So Jennifer had — I kid you not! — a man following her around, ensuring peak nipplage at all times and keeping the girls nice and perked up at all times. Yes, this is an actual job, and yes, it’s apparantly good money. Why she did it, nobody knows. Maybe, we never will know. Did she not want to be photographed, perhaps, fondling her own boobs endlessly? Did she want someone professional looking touching her chest region in what appeared to be a simple adjusting of clothes from a stylist, while really he was on a secret mission to erect her fleshy raisins?

We’ll never know, why. It’s one for the ages, one of the great mysteries of mankind, like Jack the Ripper’s identity or the meaning of Stone Henge. All I know is… Jennifer Lopez employed a professional nipple tweaker. Decadency not seen since the days of the Roman Empire on the eve of its collapse.

12 COMMENTS

  1. So Jennifer Lopez put an add in the New york times for a person to be her personal “nipple tweaker” , when a horny young man turned up for the job he was told “you’ll have to go to Los Angeles to apply for the job” he asked “is that where the position is based ” and was informed “no that’s where the end of the queue is” LOL an oldie but still a goodie.

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  2. I suppose he has to be effing vaxed for the job. Much prefer my job of sorting IT issues and dealing with endless requests from IT illiterate twats… umm hang on, run that by me again? However, I beleive all politicians I would consider voting for should have one of those employed…

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