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No Shit Sherlock

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The Waterton Chonical

As more and more law-abiding citizens who did nothing wrong surrender their guns to the government, Jacinda and senior NZ Police figures have revealed they’re “a bit shocked, to be honest” to learn that the thousands of criminal gang members throughout the country are more than a little bit reluctant to obey the law. 

Police Minister Stuart Nash was more surprised than most, explaining to this reporter that he honestly thought a good old-fashioned chinwag with hardened criminals about how nice of them it would be to hand over their illegally-obtained weapons was a sure-fire way to get them to comply. 

“We even offered to give them all a hug. Jacinda was really confused as to why that didn’t sway them” he explained. 

“What we’ve learned from the senior leadership teams within the gangs is that they have a different approach to obeying the law, and we respect that.” he added. 

When this reporter asked if the government and police would consider forcing the gangs to comply with the law, Nash initially seemed a bit shocked, before explaining the flaws in that approach. 

“Look… these are vulnerable people we’re dealing with. We can’t just go in and force them to obey the law. They’re not your average law-abiding, tax-paying citizens. Most don’t have jobs and rely on these weapons to redistribute wealth and property from others more fortunate than them.” 

“We feel that if we force them to not do illegal stuff, that will unfairly disadvantage them” he ranted.

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10 COMMENTS

  1. Great satire when it so closely mirrors the truth. Nash, Cindy and the COL need a strong dose of reality.

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  2. Had the fortune (Sarc) to watch some of TV1 news last night, and saw how the Hamilton chapter of the Mongrel mob were…. really turning things around.
    Great,
    I am thrilled to hear that. But do you really think?????
    Dame Turia was there saying how mean people were to be judging people in patches, she never judges anyone. (just the mean people who judge patches)
    The reporter said there was some barking but it seemed peaceful.

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    • The reporter should take their names, and then go backing six months and ask each one of them what they are doign now
      Bus driver, doctor, male nurse, warehouseman, driver, dead or still dealing drugs.

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    • Did the barking mongrels offer to hand over their firearm arsenal. //

      There is a reason the mob are judged as that is what they intended when the Mongrel Mob set themselves up to live outside of society but have now decided they want to be accepted by society for what they are. They don’t want to live within the law like the rest of us.

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  3. Trash be trash

    …We even offered to give them all a hug. Jacinda was really confused as to why that didn’t sway them…

    and Madonna offered a blowjob to men who voted for Killary in 2016.

    This is how these slappers roll… bearing in mind the above is satire- which shadows reality

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