The Waterton Chronicle.
It is today dawning on the entire world that President Trump is going to be a thing for another four years, despite numerous attempts to wake from what they all assumed was just a scary dream.
Despite not really meeting any of his election promises (Mexico isn’t paying for the wall, there are no new manufacturing jobs, China is not getting schooled on the art of the deal, ISIS has not been defeated, and Turkey is about to demolish the Kurds because ISIS hasn’t been defeated), it seems all it takes to become President these days, and stay there, is to be in a reality TV show and tweet whatever happens to pop into your head at any given moment.
When a reporter asked a local Trump supporter for his thoughts, he simply said “Trump 2020! MAGA!! Crooked Hillary! Aaaahhh!”.
A North Korean correspondent attempted to contact Kim Jong-Un for comment, but apparently he was too busy putting his tips together for the upcoming NBA season.
Our British correspondent had similar problems gaining comments from both Prime Minister Boris Johnson and the Queen, with the former apparently tied up with endless meetings with his lawyer, and the latter frankly choosing to pretend the whole situation isn’t happening.