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Orthodumbarse-Virus

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What is Orthodumbarse-virus?

The virus many are googling (according to Google you really don’t need to worry about) and is trending.
By www.ysb.co.nz editor
March 27, 2020

According to Google Trends, the top globally trending topic this week is “orthodumbarse-virus”, as spurious sites claim it’s the next pandemic on the horizon.
Take it from me: it is.
This claim circulating online underscores the need to get health information from reputable sources – and that you shouldn’t believe everything you read on social media.

What is Orthodumbarse-virus?
Orthodumbarse-virus – commonly known as arse-virus – is a very, very common virus. There have been millions confirmed human cases worldwide.
It is in a class of diseases called zoonoses, meaning it is a virus transmitted from animals to human. In this case, the animals in question are cats and dogs. Orthodumbarse-virus can cause severe stress, and symptoms include bleeding from the nose and black eyes. As well as an unnatural temptation to hoard toilet paper. Some are even seen stealing hand sanitiser and face masks from hospitals.

 

How does Orthodumbarse-virus spread?
According to our all knowing dear leader, Orthodumbarse-virus is spread from several species of pets in their fur, and saliva. It is thought that transmission occurs when they breathe in air contaminated with the virus. Human to human infection is then inevitable.


She also reports:
if a pet with the virus licks someone, the virus is spread to that person;
scientists believe that people may be able to get the virus if they touch something that has been contaminated, and then touch their nose or mouth;
scientists also suspect people can become sick in the head if they eat food cooked by other humans.

How worried should I be about Orthodumbarse-virus?
You should be extremely worried. In general, infectious disease specialists do worry about zoonoses – the coronavirus that causes COVID-19 and Ebola are both important recent examples of animal-associated diseases that have crossed the species barrier.
Orthodumbarse-virus, is thought to be a big threat at the moment. With some countries conducting lockdown, and others having isolation orders, the chance of people contracting Orthodumbarse-virus is expected to increase out of all proportion. For most being in lockdown with your family will have a detrimental affect the longer lockdown continues. A bit like Christmas Day, one of the most stressful days for families.
Increasingly, there are more reports from China, Italy and the USA. In the US, it is manifestly obvious by the number of citizens suffering from TDS. In their case it has had a 3 year incubation period.
I think, for now, let’s concentrate on the pandemic we have – which is coronavirus and also the annual influenza season – rather than worry about Orthodumbarse-virus.
However, this coronavirus outbreak and everything that’s come before reinforces that we need early warning systems to work out what’s out there that could be threatening.
Orthodumbarse-virus is certainly one we should be particularly concerned about right now. The longer this lock down continues the more cases of Orthodumbarse-virus there will be.

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