In what may be the most bronze-laced political scandal of the decade, Debbie Ngarewa-Packer, the Irish co-leader of Te Pāti Māori, is facing a bronzed backlash after her spray tan technician went rogue on Facebook with a bronzer bombshell.
According to the tell-all post by Wellington-based “glow artisan” SunKissedByShazza, Ngarewa-Packer was a regular visitor to her Thorndon home studio. “Like clockwork, every Thursday” wrote Shaz.
But it wasn’t the frequency that raised eyebrows. It was the alleged request.
“I would like my skin colour to match that of a Māori woman,”
Ngarewa-Packer reportedly said, holding up a colour swatch that suspiciously resembled a Bunnings test pot titled “Ngāti Bronze No.7”.
The technician claims Ngarewa-Packer admitted her Irish ancestry had left her melanin-deficient. “Some Irish don’t tan well,” she reportedly lamented. “And I’m one of them. But my fabricated whakapapa deserves at least a medium-dark glow.”
Te Pāti Māori has declined to comment, but sources say the party caucus has been urgently Googling “cultural authenticity vs contouring”.
Opponents have seized on the scandal, with one anonymous MP calling it “identity politics meets JLo in 2003.”
Experts are divided. One political analyst stated, “If true, it raises important questions. Where does cultural identity end and cosmetic enhancement begin? And more importantly, who is her supplier, and do they do home visits?”
Meanwhile, social media is ablaze, with #TanTooFar trending on both Twitter and the popular tanning forum Glow Up Aotearoa.
As of publication, Shaz’s Facebook post has been taken down, reportedly due to backlash from both the tanning community and the Department of Internal Affairs, which has no official stance on ethnicity-based tanning but is now considering one.
A ‘Pureblood Maori’ who isn’t ‘pure’ (Yet has the temerity to lecture everyone else about ‘Being Maori’) and in New Zealand too – who would have thought…
Given the special ‘client-service-provider’ relationship which exists in such matters, Ngarewa-Packer must have REALLY ticked-off her ‘colourist’ (The secrets of the ‘confessional’ and all that)…
(And it’s not even April 1).
Scotland was invaded by Romans, Irish, and more. Why isn’t she having a crack at them?
cuz she knows she cant get a cent from them.
as i said the other day, tpm is the closest thing NZ politics has to trump so of course ample spray tan is involved!!!
Just another fake hori, from the party of fake fuckers. Oi cowboy hat off in parliment, dickhead.
Bet if you look at the big chunks of plastic around their necks have made in china on em.
I think Debbie is just beautiful, wise, intelligent and just a plain old simple visionary who tells in in ways of the old Kuia. I hang on her every word and can’t wait for her next words of wisdom. You lot just do not know what you are missing. //
Why doesn’t she just use some of that chick with the squeaky voices luminous spheres in her own boudoir to get the correct fake partly Maori tan. Got to be stupid to think you would never be outed with a before and after shot in the street.
When satire is this good, it’s easy to get fooled.
I’m a little surprised she didn’t embrace her mothers Irish ancestry on St Patricks Day – is she not an equal opportunity grifter?
Just like the facade leadership by no talent Biden and Harris for the demorats was a giant con-job complete with a Hollywood director so too are the leadership of Waitati and Packer. They are TPM props, performative vocal mouth pieces acting the part of racist radicals for the puppet master JT.
Not leaders, they’re aggressive, intimidatory circus clowns doing the bidding. It is all narcissistic racist drivel, a performance without substance.
Reckon little willy Jackass uses a different spray tanner
Waste oil?
With the advent of mmp about 30% of our members are really court jesters up from probably 3% .
I see there is an all telling new book out on the down fall and coverup of bumbling Biden’s fall into incontinence. Wonder if it out sells the bitches tombe, won’t she be pissed!