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Waterton is on to it!

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Rob Walsh:

NZ Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has issued a stern challenge to National Party leader Judith Collins, stating that she’ll hug all of New Zealand’s “team of 5 million” citizens in order to win the now-postponed NZ election.

Fronting the press after Auckland’s reversal into lockdown, Ardern said she’s ready to embrace every citizen literally if it means securing NZ Labour’s vote in the upcoming ballot.

“I thought having a sycophantic media fawning over my every move while not actually holding me to account would be enough. Alas, I’ll have to go that one step further,” Ardern said.

“I thought the hugs at Christchurch and the volcano were enough. I’m not good at much else, but contrived media stunts are my domain, so Judith better watch the fuck out.”

When pressed about how that would conflict with Auckland in lockdown and social distancing protocols, Ardern remained defiant.

“Well, there are exemptions and I think the public have full confidence that the leader of their country would not do anything to jeopardise their safety.”

Judith Collins was unavailable for comment.

The Waterton Chronicle understands the leader of the opposition was too busy talking to average New Zealanders and announcing policies that might actually help them survive in the medium-term.

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16 COMMENTS

  1. Funny as the Waterton is, I’d say Yep, she damn well would if she thought it would get her back in power again. She better not come near me though thanks.

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  2. Not Maori myself but she can kiss my bare arse. Happily down trou for her .

    Went to an 85year old boys birthday yesterday. Not a nice word was said about her or our city council.
    Kiwi politics stink like cat shit.

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  3. giving 5 million NZrs hugs could be beneficial to Cindy ,it might help her to straighten her rapidly stooping posture.
    Sorry about that but I personally hate this creature for the theft of firearms from decent law abiding Kiwis ,at the time it was a conspiracy theory that it was a socialist regime disarming it’s populace but that will turn out to be correct if this country slides further towards a dictatorship where the dictator only fronts her daily propaganda hour when it’s good news.
    And does anybody have any idea why the bastard is always giggly smiley talking like a fricking 13 year old school girl.???

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  4. Well done Waterton, Cindy’s hug-fest to win the election. She doesn’t read the room well.

    Now where did I put my 10ft barge pole? I wouldn’t hug the mad queen for all the tea in China 🤨

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  5. JeoPRAdise. That is the correct pronunciation according
    to the Ardern Concise Manual of Mangled Speech.

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    • “Jepradize”
      If defies belief that she gets away with butchering the English language like that- Yet the Media and NZ ‘Comedian’s’ had a field day mimicking that way Simon Bridges spoke…

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      • Capricorn one ,she openly laughed when the little drunken maggot peters made fun of “Soiman” in the debating chamber,she’s a creature of malleable principles thats for sure,an ideal socialist.

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    • And twidder …. had vomit carton at hand to watch sesh with Ryan this morning and blood pressure rose to new levels

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